Just because I’m not in a relationship doesn’t mean I don’t get horny sometimes. I still want sex, but I’m not interested in one-night stands or some random f*ck buddy, though — I want to have a sexual relationship with someone I know, like (maybe even love) and trust.
In my life, sex is never meaningless. I’ve never been into casual sex, and I can’t see any instance where I ever will be. It isn’t just a physical action to me — there’s an emotional tie that I can’t cut and wouldn’t want to. I like that sex means something to me, and being friends with benefits would just take away from the fact that in my life, I want sex to always be connected to love.
Good friends are hard to come by. I don’t ever want to ruin a friendship over something like that. I worked hard for my friendships and I expect them to last a lifetime, not be ruined over a physical desire. I might get horny, but it’s not like I can’t solve that problem on my own. Say hello to my vibrator. I can get myself off and give myself my own orgasm. Good friends are hard to find, but my sweet spot isn’t (at least not to me).
Once I cross that line, there’s no going back. I can’t pretend it never happened. Maybe he could, but I know myself well enough to know that I can’t. I can’t erase the parts of my life that didn’t go the way I wanted them to. I can’t just forget my mistakes. Once I cross that line, then we’re officially not just friends anymore and we never will be again.
I don’t want to play any more games. I’m over playing games. I’m over limitations. I want an actual relationship and I’m not going to get one by sleeping with one of my friends in the meantime. The best way to find a good guy is to figure out a good way to be on my own and independent. I don’t need to play games anymore — I need to grow the hell up and find love, not just sex.
I don’t know what would happen when I do meet someone. I don’t think my future Mr. Right is going to be very comfortable with the fact that I had a sexual relationship with one of my guy friends. I know I wouldn’t be comfortable with that if the roles were reversed. So what happens then? I either make my boyfriend uncomfortable or I lose a friend. Either way, I don’t really win.
I don’t want to be attracted to my friends. Even if it’s not emotional, I don’t want a sexual attraction either. It’s just going to make things weird as hell. I’m awkward enough already without stirring the pot by having one of my friends fulfill my sexual frustrations. I don’t want attraction. I want platonic friendship, so I’m not going to screw that up.
I’m ready to settle down. I’ve been in the dating game way too long and I’m ready to reach the finish line. I don’t want to have another casual “relationship.” I’m ready to get serious. I’m done playing the field and I’m done with casual sex. I want something real and I won’t let anything or anyone get in the way of that.
I’m not interested in drama. I’m not in high school anymore, or even college. I’m a grown adult and I should start acting like one. I don’t want to create any more drama in my friend group, let alone my life — I’m too old for that. They say you shouldn’t dip your pen in the company ink, and I’m applying the same logic to my friendships.
I always get emotionally attached to the people I sleep with. To be honest, I don’t really understand how anyone can’t be emotionally connected to sex. If I’m being vulnerable physically then it only feels right to be emotionally vulnerable as well. Intimacy is animalistic to me. If a man’s going to be in my bed, then he’ll be entering my heart too.
At some point, a friends with benefits situation has to end. I can only see it going one of two ways — either the friendship is ruined forever or we fall in love. Except, my guy friends aren’t exactly boyfriend material. I want a man who will treat me right, not another guy who’s going to make me feel like I’m nothing — especially when it’s one of my friends. I just want to maintain my friendships, and that’s why I’ll never let sex get in the way.
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