10 Reasons The More You Love Yourself, The Harder It Is To Find A Great Guy

Self-love is one of the most amazing gifts you can offer yourself. It’s a beautiful thing when you’re full of love for yourself, but it also makes finding a boyfriend a lot harder. You have so much love for yourself that you’re not desperate to find someone else who loves you. The dating game may or may not work out for you, but at least you have yourself!

  1. You know how awesome you are. You’ve been by yourself long enough to know that you’re a kick-ass woman. You’re quite aware of how awesome you are, so you’re not really looking for validation in someone else telling you how great you are. As a result of this, it’s more difficult to find a mate. Your self-confidence and comfort with who you are will always intimidate weak men.
  2. You’re not looking for someone to fix you. Because you’re well aware of how wonderful you are, you know that you’re already whole. Some women think that they’re broken or missing parts of themselves, so they wait to be put together by a guy. You, on the other hand, are well aware that you’re perfect just as you are. You’re looking for someone to compliment you, not complete you–and this isn’t an easy search as some men are looking to swoop in and save the day.
  3. You’ve made peace with being alone. At the end of the day, having a boyfriend would be cool, but you’ve made peace with the fact that it might not happen. You know there’s a chance you’ll be alone forever but that no longer scares you. You’re full of so much love for yourself that you don’t even need another person to love you. This is so freeing and it also repels those who are looking for a codependent lover. Bye bye to them.
  4. You don’t fall for or tolerate BS. You’re so solid in who you are that you don’t tolerate any BS. Maybe that can fly with other women who don’t have as much self-love, but it definitely can’t fly with you. The fact that you’re so stable eliminates a whole bunch of potential suitors because some of them are looking to pull a fast one on you. You’re all set.
  5. You have no patience for players. Some women may tolerate men who don’t know how to behave like decent human beings or treat a woman right, but you have zero patience for them and get rid of them at the first red flag. This slims the dating pool down further because lord knows that there are too many liars, players, and toxic dudes around. The good news is that you’re happy alone, so you’d rather be all by yourself than waste your time with a player.
  6. You’re much pickier. The fact that you adore yourself so much contributes to the fact that you’re not afraid of being alone. This simple fact allows you the freedom to be super picky in dating. You know there’s a huge pool to choose from, but you are also aware that you’re compatible with such a small percentage of that pool. This doesn’t scare you.
  7. You refuse to settle. When people are terrified of being by themselves, they often settle for a relationship that’s mediocre. You, on the other hand, are never going to settle. You’re well aware of your worth and you’ll only ever be with someone who can see it. You celebrate how sparkly and lovely your worth is and this scares off some guys. It doesn’t matter though, you know they aren’t the right guys for you.
  8. You aren’t afraid to say no. A huge reason men are often scared off by your unapologetic showing of self is that you’re not afraid to say no. You’re great at setting boundaries and sticking up for what you need and this absolutely terrifies a lot of men. You don’t really care, though. You know how valuable you are and you know that your needs deserve to be respected.
  9. Your life is bomb already. As a result of loving yourself to pieces, you have a fantastic life. Your life is totally admirable. Your friends are low-key jealous and strangers can see the spark in your smile. You’ve built a kick-ass life for a kick-ass woman because you know life is short. A partner would be cool to add, but your life is complete with or without them.
  10. You trust the unfolding of your life. You don’t fuss over dating and over finding “The One” because you trust how your life is unfolding. It’s intimidating to date you because you don’t get attached too quickly, instead you move at a pace that is reasonable and grounded. You lean heavily on your intuition and beliefs in how the universe works, so you don’t need to freak out about worldly things like men.
Ginelle has been writing professionally for more than six years and has a bachelor’s degree in digital marketing & design. Her writing has appeared on Birdie, Thought Catalog, Tiny Buddha and more. You can follow her on Instagram @ginelletesta, via her Facebook page, or through her website at ginelletesta.com.
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