Not all guys are worth your time, but it can be hard to figure out which of them are and which aren’t when you’ve only just started talking. If you’ve been texting pretty hardcore and are even considering meeting up in person, you might want to pump the breaks and delete his number if you notice any of these signs:
- He makes misogynistic comments to you or on his social media/dating profiles. This is one of those things that is often a hallmark that he’s going to become abusive, even if he’s sweet as pie right now. Men who make these kinds of misogynistic comments view women as the enemy or “lesser than” them. Do you really want to talk to a dude who acts like that? Probably not.
- You find out he’s taken. There are a lot of guys out there who claim to be single but will have photos of themselves with their fiancees on Facebook under a different name. If you suspect this is true for him, drop him. You deserve better than a guy who would cheat on his partner and never put you first. Besides, if he would cheat on her, he’d do the same to you.
- He says things that don’t quite sit right with you. Ever have one of those moments where someone says something that isn’t necessarily offensive or mean but it just somehow bothers you? More often than not, that’s because we tend to subconsciously feel like something is wrong but we can’t quite put our finger on what it is. We developed that subconscious for a reason — it helps keep us from danger. If you notice you don’t feel right around him, don’t reply to his messages.
- He tries to guilt you into replying. Nope. That’s not a good dynamic to start off any relationship with. In fact, it’s incredibly toxic and suggests that emotional abuse will come into play if you keep talking to him. Don’t bother replying to him; it’ll only go downhill from there.
- He negs you. “Negging” is a type of tactic some guys use to lower a girl’s self-esteem in hopes that she’ll be putty in their hands. More often than not, negging happens when a guy insults you, tells you that you “shouldn’t be shallow,” or brags about getting lots of other women wanting him. It’s important to realize three things about men who neg: they’re hurting you to get what they want, they don’t have remorse for hurting you, and they sure as hell aren’t worth your time.
- He claims he’s a “nice guy” or says that you’re “not like all the others.” Yeah, this is not a good sign, even if it seems nice at first. Guys who say these things often have Nice Guy Syndrome and may believe that they’re entitled to sex or love simply because they exist. It’s not your job to fix them, so don’t reply to them if you start getting those kinds of vibes.
- He’s already talking about sex, and you haven’t even met yet. Continuing to talk to this guy likely shows that you’re okay with dealing with disrespect and that you may end up catching an STD from him. Why so many men seem to believe that it’s okay to go from 0 to 100 on this topic is beyond me, but it’s almost always a total red flag.
- He gets mad when you haven’t replied to him in a couple of hours. Uh, he doesn’t own you. Moreover, you might have legit been too busy to respond to him. If he’s getting this mad over you having a life when you’re not even together, imagine how much of a psycho he’ll become if you two did become an item. This guy doesn’t need a girlfriend or your reply. He needs help.
- The more you talk to him, the more he sounds like an ignorant oaf. Ever meet one of those people who seems fine at first, but the more you talk to him, it becomes clear he’s ignorant, closeminded, and boorish? If you notice that he’s really not the person you thought he was, and if you never really met up, it’s probably for the best if you just stop talking to him. (At the very least, he’ll eventually get the message.)
- You find out something pretty awful about him. There are a lot of guys out there who’ve done terrible things, and word eventually does come out about that stuff. If he has assault charges or has made the news for something terrible he’s done, you already know what kind of person he really is. Unless you want the potential risk of having to deal with him doing something similar to you, you’ll be wise to just let him go.
