I’m kind of ashamed to admit it, but I’ve definitely done some ridiculous things in the past to get attention from guys I liked. I thought if I could just make myself into the perfect woman, they’d fall head over heels for me and realize just how wonderful I am. It was stupid and — spoiler alert! — it never worked. Thankfully, I’m smart enough now to know better and I’ll NEVER do these 11 things again for a dude:
- Change my appearance. Never again will I get front bangs because his ex-girlfriend had them or adjust what I look like in any way to resemble someone I think my crush would want to date. No more! Changing my appearance to get attention from guys destroyed my self-confidence. I’m good just the way I am, and the right guy will realize that.
- Send naked pics. Advice: Never send “dirty” pictures! No matter what — even if you’re married, those things can still be sent to the cloud and used later by a hacker (or ex-lover) to ruin your life and reputation. Luckily, I never experienced anything that dramatic. However, I did learn that guys lie when they say they delete what you send them. Newsflash: they don’t!
- Lie about stupid stuff. That one time I said I was 5’10” even though I’m barely touching 5’3” — that was hilariously dumb. Or, when I lied about having a dog because I knew my crush loved dogs. Don’t ask me what I was thinking because I have no clue. I just wanted attention, dammit! Never again!
- Act dumb.“What? I don’t get it?” That was my go-to phrase, but I always got it. I’m smart as hell — I’d just act dumb because I thought that’s what guys were attracted to (I was young, don’t judge me). Obviously, I was wrong. Those Victoria’s Secret Models get all the guys and a majority of them are brilliant. So clearly, intelligence is the best attractant.
- Take on a different persona. More than once, I’ve taken on a different persona in order to get a guy. If I heard that my crush liked “party girls,” I’d become a “party girl.” I’d crank up my cussing, walk around in scantily clad outfits and scream, “Let’s take some shots!” It was exhausting (and thanks to all that drinking, I gained more than a few lbs).
- Overreact. The best way to get attention from a guy is to sit on the kitchen floor of a party crying until he comes over and asks, “What’s wrong?” Right? Not only did that not work but it made me look a drunken hot mess — I hate looking like a drunken hot mess. Why I thought drama was sexy was beyond me, but thankfully I have a grip on reality now.
- Break my moral code. I will never adjust my moral code again! Promising myself that I wasn’t going to have sex to get attention — and then having sex to get attention — was the worst decision I’ve ever made. It felt like I was using my lady parts for evil instead of good. For now on, guys have to earn me, period.
- Forget about my friends. Yes, I bailed on my friends for a guy. I’m not proud of it, okay? I wanted to spend every free second I had with the guy I was crushing on and unfortunately, my friends were nonchalantly tossed to the side while I was doing that. It was a crappy situation all-around because not only did I not get the guy, but I lost my friends in the process of chasing him.
- Pretend to have similar interests. This guy I liked was a huge basketball fan, so naturally, I told him I was a huge basketball fan. The problem? He wanted to talk about basketball… a lot! And the only player I could reference was Lamar Odom — which was only thanks to my obsession with Khloe Kardashian. Needless to say, he didn’t want to date a liar.
- Act like one of the guys. Surprisingly, this one completely backfired on me! I thought acting like one of the guys would beef up my street cred. If his friends liked me, they’d push him to date me and we’d live happily ever after, right? Nope. Pretending to be one of the guys friendzoned me even more than I already was. Who would’ve thought?
- Lose myself to him. I don’t ever want to be so starved for attention that I turn into someone I’m not proud of just so I can “get the guy.” If the guy I like doesn’t notice me right for me, he’s probably not the one. Working to get attention can be a slippery slope and I refuse to get caught up in that ride again.
