Maybe it’s just social media getting to my head, but it seems like if you’re not baring it all in the DMs, you’re a prude these days. Call me old-fashioned, but I’m not planning on stripping down for the camera anytime soon—especially for a guy who hasn’t committed to me fully.
- THERE’S SOMETHING TO SAY FOR MYSTERY. I still believe that always keeping a bit of mystery is the sexiest thing a woman can do. You don’t have to lead a man on or put on an act around him, just keeping a bit of your womanhood to yourself is enough to keep him wondering. Throwing out my naked body in a text message completely shatters that idea, and I’m not willing to give everything away like that.
- SENDING NUDES IS SO COMMON That GUYS EXPECT THEM. What girl hasn’t had a guy slide into her DMs asking for nudes? It doesn’t even matter if you’ve never talked before—guys are straight up asking for pictures before they know your name which I think is totally disrespectful. I would feel totally gross handing over pictures knowing that’s exactly what they set out for.
- IT SENDS A MESSAGE THAT I’M NOT AN OBJECT. Refusing to send nudes to guys may make me a prude but it definitely sends a message. I don’t want guys to define me by the shape of my body or the lingerie I buy. I’m a real person with a personality and thoughts, and that’s how I want to be seen. My biggest asset isn’t my body, it’s my mind.
- AUTOMATICALLY GETTING NUDES TAKES THE EFFORT OUT OF ROMANCE. Guys are already not that romantically inclined, so why would I make it even more difficult by taking away the incentive? If I can send him my body to his phone screen, why would he even bother putting in the effort in the bedroom when it comes down to it? If he already got so much of me with no effort, I’m just going to be disappointed when he doesn’t think he has to put any time into romance in real life.
- I DON’T KNOW IF HE’S SHOWING OTHER GUYS. I may think I know my guy but how do I really know he hasn’t shown any of his buddies the pictures that were meant for his eyes only? Again, nudes are so common to guys, it’s not like they’re sacred to them anymore. Even really great guys feel the pressure to be manly every once in awhile and make mistakes that could really hurt me.
- IF HE NEEDS NAKED PICTURES TO STAY INTERESTED, HE’S NOT THE ONE. If he’s really that worried about having naked pictures of me at his disposal, I’m just going to go out on a limb and say he’s not the right guy. I don’t care what the excuse is, if they need my body to stay faithful or satisfied and are unable to wait, they don’t have good intentions. Sex is cheap. Guys who don’t really care about me know they can get it somewhere else if I won’t give it to them—I’m happy to let them go.
- I HAVE NO CONTROL OF THOSE PICTURES ONCE THEY’RE SENT. Once I send something, there’s no taking it out. If the guy I sent them to decides to forward them on to someone else or someone finds them and passes them around, they’ll always be out there. I don’t know how many stories of pictures going viral have ruined girls’ lives, but I don’t trust anyone enough to risk it.
- IF THE BREAKUP GOES SOUTH, HE HAS DIRT ON ME. No one ever foresees having to go through an awful breakup with someone they once loved, but it happens all the time. What happens when this guy who now hates me has an arsenal of your super personal photos? I don’t ever want to risk some guy throwing my photos up and ruining my reputation. I never think someone will, but I have to be smart enough to know it’s not an uncommon situation.
- IT HELPS WEED THROUGH THE GUYS WHO JUST WANT SEX. It’s amazing how much time you save by not providing insta-sex to guys who want you. When you make up your mind that you want more than just a sexual encounter with a guy, your decision does all the work for you. I kissed the days of wasting my time on horny guys goodbye a long time ago. If a guy wants me for me, I’ll know because he’ll respect my decision and will stick around.
- I DON’T THINK GUYS WHO AREN’T COMMITTED DESERVE THEM. Now seriously, what has a guy ever done for me that he deserves to see my body naked whenever he wants to see it? If he isn’t seriously committed to me, he hasn’t paid his dues to deserve that privilege. In fact, until a guy marries me and confirms that I’m “The One,” he won’t be getting any special husband privileges.
- I WANT TO TAKE THINGS SLOW. I don’t want everything to happen at once. When you skip right to sexual things, you miss all of those sweet moments in between that naturally lead there. I want to feel the natural progression of our relationship where it leads to real, meaningful sex and a hot-flamed relationship from there on out. Everything about your relationship changes when you introduce sex into the picture, even if it’s just a photo.
- I ONLY WANT MY HUSBAND TO SEE ME THAT WAY SOMEDAY. At the end of the day, I don’t want every guy I’ve ever dated to have the privilege of seeing my naked photos. I want that to be reserved for the man that commits his life to me and developed respect for me first. I think it makes everything more special when you reserve those moments for that one person and don’t share it around with the ones who weren’t right.
