No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s nothing a good girls’ night out won’t fix (or at least make you forget about for a few hours as you down countless cocktails). If you enjoy hitting the town with your single girlfriends, you no doubt know exactly how these excursions go down.
YOU ALL GET READY TOGETHER. After spending hours agonizing over what you’re going to wear in your girls’ Whatsapp group, you’re still undecided—which means you need everyone to come around pre-night out and help you choose. This usually involves some kind of at-home catwalk show, as well as a catch-up and a gossip with your new BFF for the night: wine.
YOU START CIVILIZED IN A CLASSY COCKTAIL BAR. Your first drink is usually the most expensive, as you feel the need to buy an overpriced cocktail or glass of fizz. After all, this is a special occasion—you and your single girls are rarely out all together at the same time! As you politely sip your cocktails in the elegant environment, you have no idea that your night is about to do a 180. It’s all downhill from here (but that’s half the fun of it).
YOU MOVE ONTO A DIVE BAR AND DECIDE TO PLAY DRINKING GAMES. At this point, the alcohol is starting to set in and you make the executive decision that more alcohol is needed! Bring on the shots and bring on the drinking games! There’s no better way to make a group of girls bond than introduce a cheeky little game of “Never Have I Ever.” But you also find out too much about some people in the process. (Like WTF, Susan? I had no idea that you’re into anal!)
YOU KEEP A CASUAL EYE OUT FOR THE HOTTIES. As you progressively get more and more inebriated, you start looking for eligible bachelors around you. (That’s if they haven’t already come to you—guys always want to get in on the “Never Have I Ever” action!) This is the part of the night where you determine whether you like anyone in the bar while desperately trying to look cool so that you naturally catch the eye of the opposite sex. Sometimes the “looking cool” bit fails and you dribble your drink down your chin. We’ve all been there.
YOU START DANCING IN THE HOPE THAT YOU WILL ATTRACT THE MALE SPECIES. Sometimes you don’t dance to attract guys—you dance because the rhythm gets you and you just can’t help it! Your girls rally around you and you end up provocatively dancing up against ’em. It’s not like you like each other like that, you just think it’s hilarious.
GUYS START BUYING YOU DRINKS AND YOU’RE ONLY TOO HAPPY TO ACCEPT. You’re drunk enough to feel flattered by a free drink. (Or, if you choose not to accept it, one of your girls surely will.) As this guy has been kind enough to buy you a drink, you feel obligated to have little dance with him even though you just wanted the freebie. You don’t really like him, and he soon gets the picture when you practically run away from him when the dance is over. Girl, you’re as smooth AF.
ONE GIRL GETS TOO DRUNK TOO QUICKLY AND HAS TO GET AN UBER HOME BEFORE MIDNIGHT. It’s a shame but it always happens. It’s usually someone who over-did it with the drinking games. (Susan, we’re looking at you!) Hopefully it’s not you, because if so, that sucks.
YOUR FRIENDS TRY TO PLAY MATCHMAKER. If you’re one of the lucky ones and you’ve made it this far, this is the point in the night where the girls ask you to point out who you like in the bar. You point out the cutie you’ve had your eye on for a while and then they suddenly run off to try and talk to him for you while you wait in the corner like a lone wolf.
YOU MAKE FRIENDS WITH OTHER DRUNK SINGLE GIRLS IN THE BATHROOM. While the other girls are doing their matchmaking thing, you head to the bathroom to break the seal and relieve your overflowing bladder. It’s here where you run into fellow drunk single girls who are only too happy to talk to you about life and anything deep and meaningful. You have a bad moment where you feel too drunk and end up shamelessly crying about your ex, only to pull yourself together a mere minute later. Girl, what were you thinking? He’s an ex for a reason!
YOU END UP KISSING OR HOOKING UP WITH A DRUNK SINGLE GUY. When you finally make it out of the bathroom, you head over to your friends and end up talking to the cutie they’re trying to set you up with. One moment you’re talking, the next moment you’re kissing. How did this even happen? Who cares—go with it! By the end of the night, you have no idea what his real name is or if he’s actually good-looking in the sunlight—when it comes to beer goggles #thestruggleisreal—but damn, he’s a good kisser! So who cares?
YOU DECIDE TO GO HOME BECAUSE YOUR HEAD IS SPINNING. This gives a whole new meaning to “the earth spins on its axis.” You’re stumbling, you feel sick and you’re way past the point of no-return. You realize that the sensible thing to do is to get yourself home, but not before a quick pitstop at a fast food place. (Did someone say chicken nuggets?)
YOU PASS OUT IN BED FULLY-CLOTHED. Once you’re home safe, you have to navigate the minefield between your front door and your bedroom. If you have a roommate who’s already asleep, this often involves fumbling around in the dark and stubbing your toe at least once. Then you collapse into bed fully-clothed with your takeout, not even bothering to brush your teeth or take your make-up off. You can do that tomorrow! The next day, you wake up and you realize you’re lying in a pool of french fries. Eww. But, you know what? That’s the sign of a good night, sister!
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