Getting dumped hit me hard. I could barely get out of bed and had a dark cloud following me around for days. What made it even worse is that I kept going through the breakup over and over again in my head, wishing I spoke up instead of just, well, crying my eyes out and saying nothing at all. Here are all the things I would have said to my ex if I could go through it again:
“I was unhappy too.” I know that he probably thought that dumping me would be devastating and soul-destroying, but I was secretly wishing that it would happen. I was unhappy just like he was. In fact, I’m not really sure why I wasn’t the one to end things first, to be honest.
“I kinda saw this coming.” I noticed that he was acting a little stand off-ish, which made me think he was guilty of something. I wasn’t sure what it was but I knew it wasn’t good. I had a pit in my stomach for days and I knew it was only a matter of time before the bomb would be dropped. I may have acted surprised but if I was being honest with myself, I knew it was coming.
“I don’t want to be your friend.” I know that in an ideal world, we would continue hanging out. We would still do all the fun things we used to do, just not in a romantic way. I think certain people can pull this off, but not us and it’s mostly because I wouldn’t trust him to keep it friendly. We’re done, so we need to really be DONE.
“You just broke my heart.” I know that I acted like I thought it was a good idea to break up and that it’s “for the best” — and to be honest, both of those things were true — but I wanted him to know that he broke my heart regardless. I might forgive him and move on, but I’ll always feel a little hurt by it.
“Why did you love me?” If I knew why he fell in love with me in the first place then maybe that would give me a clear answer as to why he broke up with me since he didn’t want to explain that. We both knew it wasn’t working, but I only knew my thoughts and feelings. It would’ve been helpful to know his.
“When did you start feeling unhappy with us?” I wish I asked him what exactly made him decide that things weren’t going to work. What was the final straw; the moment that made him sure that there should be no more us? I know he said that it has nothing to do with me, but I still just want to know what caused this to happen.
“Is there any I can do to fix this?” Instead of throwing this away, was there anything I could have done for him back then to fix things between us? I didn’t want to throw everything away because it’s not working for him if what was broken was fixable. The best part about a relationship is that you get to grow together through both the good and the bad times and I wanted to do that with him.
“I’m sorry.” I was sorry for not giving him everything he needed. Looking back, I know there were times that I could have put him first and showed him as much love as he showed me. I was selfish and I was sincerely sorry about that.
“I’m grateful for us.” Although there were things that we both could have done differently, it is what it is and I’m glad we had at least a bit of time together. Not everything works out and I realize now, having had time to process everything, that we weren’t meant to be. That doesn’t mean we weren’t good while we lasted.
“Let’s try to work this out.” Although I don’t regret the relationship we had, I wish we could have at least TRIED to work it out. Unfortunately, he wasn’t interested in working on things, which made me wonder if I’d always loved him more than he loved me. I guess I’ll never know.
“Are you doing this for yourself or for us?” He said that it would be better for the both of us if we broke up, but it wasn’t really his place to decide for me. I didn’t think he was dragging me down but maybe he thought I was dragging HIM down and felt like he needed to dump me in order to live his life to the fullest. Was that true?
“Thank you.” He changed my life forever and I have no choice but to be thankful for it. he showed me what real love is and I will never forget the moments we shared, no matter who or what else comes into my life in the future.
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