13 Signs You’re A Woman That’s Difficult To Love (And How To Change That)

You meet great guys, but they always seem to leave before the relationship really gets started. You even have a hard time keeping friends. Is it you or them? The problem could actually be you. You still deserve love, of course, but here are the signs you’re a woman who’s difficult to love.

1. You don’t love yourself.

Think about it for a few minutes. Do you honestly love yourself? You’ll never be able to make a relationship work if you don’t know your worth and cling to it with all you’ve got. The more you recognize and assert your own value, the easier it will be to accept that others want to love you too.

2. Everything comes before love.

Of course you’re busy. We all are. But when everything in your life comes before love, there’s a problem. You have to make time for friends and relationships. All that hard work to get to the top means nothing if you’re always alone and have no one to celebrate with. Think about your priorities and spare some time for love. It’s not just difficult to love a woman who insists she has no time to be loved, it’s downright impossible.

3. Want a partner? Attract love with the power of your mind.

Sweetn is a new research-based startup that shows you how to call love into your life with the power of your mind. Take our quiz, and try our tools—they can transform your energy and your love life in a few weeks.  Just click here.

4. You never believe those three little words.

A clear sign you’re difficult to love is when “I love you” makes you see red, and not in a good way. For some reason, you just can’t believe anyone actually means it. The thought that someone is lying to you makes you angry. Even if they’re telling you the truth, you don’t want to hear it. You’re distrustful because of past experiences and trauma, but that shouldn’t determine your future.

5. Compromise isn’t in your vocabulary.

You shouldn’t have to give up everything for love. You will have to make some changes, though. If you refuse to compromise, you’re not going to be easy to love. Doing something as simple as trying a new restaurant or going to an event that’s important to the guy you’re dating is just part of being in love. Meet people halfway sometimes or watch love pass you by.

6. You think you’re perfect.

In other words, you’re a diva. I hate to break it to you, but you’re not perfect. You have flaws too. Thinking others should bow down to your perfection just means others are going to walk the other way. Be more realistic and realize you have some not-so-wonderful qualities. That doesn’t make you unworthy of love, but it does mean you should be a bit more humble when judging others.

7. You like making guys cry.

Whenever a guy tries to get too close to you, you tear him down and make him cry. Sometimes you don’t even know why you’re doing it, but if you’re honest with yourself, you just want to hurt him before he hurts you. Every guy isn’t going to break your heart. Give them a chance if you don’t want to end up bitter and alone.

8. You’re not into sharing.

Do you bottle everything up? Have you been with a guy for several months and the deepest thing you’ve shared is your favorite color? Love requires a little more sharing than that. You can’t expect others to love you when you refuse to let them in. Vulnerability is scary, yes, but without it, you’ll never be able to have deep and fulfilling relationships.

9. Cynical is your middle name.

Cynical women are always difficult to love. A certain level of cynicism is fine, but it’s possible to be unhealthily cynical about love and it pushes any prospects away. Give people a chance once in a while and you might just find you have a reason to be less cynical.

10. Your baggage weighs you down.

It’s difficult to love a woman who’s so weighed down by her past that she can’t see what she has in front of her. If all your thoughts focus on your past and your insecurities, you’re not able to let anyone in. Letting go of the past and learning to love yourself is key to tackling this one.

11. People keep telling you to open up.

You’ll probably have exes and friends (possibly ex-friends) constantly telling you to open up. Listen to them. If you’re always being difficult and refusing to share or try anything new, people are going to move on.

12. You desperately want love, but can’t love in return.

You crave the kind of love you see in movies, but every time you get the chance, you run away. Even worse, you treat the other person like crap. You have to learn to love if you want to be loved. It’s not always easy to open yourself up like that. But if you want it, you have to take a chance.

13. You walk away when things get serious.

It’s fun until a guy mentions the future. Suddenly, you turn into a different woman. You don’t want to discuss future plans or work on the relationship at all. If the thought of being serious makes you want to run away, you’re probably a little difficult to love.

14. You don’t think you need anyone else.

It’s fine to love being single, but when you truly don’t think you need anyone in your life, there’s a major problem. You do need love in your life. Whether it’s a boyfriend, a best girlfriend or a family member, you need someone. It’s awfully lonely at the top while everyone else is happy and loved.

How to be easier to love

This really isn’t all that complicated. You’re a smart, strong, thoughtful woman with a lot to offer, so loving you shouldn’t be a challenge.

1. Be willing to open yourself up.

As stated above, it’s really hard to let your guard down and allow yourself to be vulnerable because it obviously increases the chances of getting hurt. However, that’s no reason to stay closed off from intimacy for the rest of your life. If you don’t want to be a woman that’s difficult to love, you’ll need to learn how to balance the ability to let people in with the desire to keep your heart protected. There’s a happy medium and it’s worth finding.

2. Be generous with your time and energy.

When you’re getting to know someone new and trying to forge a real connection, you’ll have to put in a bit of effort. That doesn’t mean you should be doing all the work because that’s definitely not the case. However, if you’re serious about wanting to build a relationship, be willing to give your time and energy to the other person so that it has a greater chance of happening.

3. Want a partner? Attract love with the power of your mind.

Sweetn is a new research-based startup that shows you how to call love into your life with the power of your mind. Take our quiz, and try our tools—they can transform your energy and your love life in a few weeks.  Just click here.

4. Have a great sense of humor.

It sounds silly that a sense of humor could make you more loveable, but think about it. Everyone loves to laugh. We all love the silly inside jokes we share with our friends, family members, and romantic partners because it brings us closer together, forms memorable experiences, and just makes life that much better. No one wants to be around someone who’s a total bore because they take themselves too seriously all the time.

5. Know how to have a good time.

You know those people you meet in life who are just so easy to be around? They’re laid-back, always up for an adventure, and just generally a lot of fun. This is what you should aspire to be. That’s not to say that you have to be agreeable 24/7 to be a woman who’s easy to love, just that you should be willing and able to let your hair down sometimes.

6. Accept love and give it back.

A woman who’s difficult to love is largely that way because she doesn’t know how to accept love or to give it to someone else. It makes relationships with her way more complicated and challenging than they need to be. Turn this idea on its head and give love freely. When someone gives it to you, embrace it with open arms. You’ll be amazed at just how great your relationships are because of it.

Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.
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