By the time you’re in your early to mid-20s, you’ve probably endured your fair share of cheesy pickups and douchey one-liners, all in the name of random dudes who are trying to get laid. Very few of these tactics ever work — most of them are cringe-worthy, actually — but there are some that just cross into a whole new level of sleazy. Here are 13 things some guys will say to get laid that you should never fall for:
- “Oh, that’s what you do for work? That sounds so boring.” One of the most annoying tactics guys can try is called “negging,” which is basically when they give you a backhanded compliment to lower your self-esteem and make you more vulnerable. This way, they can then prey on your low self-esteem and make you want him more. Anyone who tries to pull this crap has instantly made himself subject to your rage.
- “This place is lame.” They’re trying to make themselves look cooler than wherever you are (spoiler alert: they’re probably not) so they can goad you into leaving with them. Their idea of a “cool spot” is most likely their messy ass apartment, where they’d like to see you naked. No, thank you.
- “You’re not like other girls.” In this case, they’re appealing to your ego. When hooking up with guys, no one ever wants to feel like just another conquest, and sleazy guys know that. They’ll do anything to make you feel special (which you are, by the way) in hopes that you’ll buy into their antics.
- “Let’s take another shot!” It’s a fact of life: alcohol lowers your inhibitions. This is basically like bible verse to players. When they can sense you’re getting tipsy, you’d best believe they’re pumping you with more alcohol to try and get you in bed. If they’re acting like jerks, there’s only one thing to do —take the free drink and then immediately go rejoin your squad. So satisfying.
- “I don’t do this very often.” You have to call BS on this one. Granted, you might occasionally get that awkward guy who genuinely confesses that he’s not an expert at flirting. That’s endearing, but someone who just reeks of sleaze telling you that he never hits on girls at bars? Listen to your gut on that one. Odds are, he’s trying to make himself appear like a “good guy.” Even worse, he may be trying to make you feel like sleeping with him is special, like a privilege not all women get. Gag.
- “We should go there sometime.” He might dangle the W-word in front of you: “we.” By implying that he wants to see you after tonight or even making plans for the near future, he may be trying to tempt you with a potential relationship. But let’s face it, anyone who uses this trick is basically the opposite of boyfriend material.
- “I could blow your mind with [enter sexual act].” Now, don’t get us wrong, some of these cocky jerks actual are good in bed — and if that’s what you’re looking for at the time, hey, go for it. Just be prepared to never see him again, because guys who brag about how good they are in bed are most likely jerks. Honestly, I don’t even find this hot for a casual hookup. Guys who think their penises are God’s gift to women are basically walking turn-offs.
- “You’re the hottest girl in here.” True, you’re obviously very sexy, but this is such a see-through line. How about just try talking to women like people rather than jumping right to complimenting their looks? Call me crazy, but it might just work.
- “I’d love to show you what good music sounds like.” This is offensive for just a medley of reasons and it can apply to pretty much anything. Say you’re talking about your favorite kind of wine, he could easily use this line and substitute “music” for “wine.” The douchey possibilities are endless, unfortunately. First of all, he doesn’t need to educate you on anything. Second of all, implying that you have no taste might be the least sexy thing of all time. Condescending to you isn’t going to make your pants fly off. Reevaluate your tactics, guy.
- “Your friend in the purple is really pretty.” Yeah, some guys will pull this nonsense. Usually, it’s to try and incite some kind of competition between you and your squad. Guess what? Saying that isn’t going to make us fight over them or make us jealous. If anything, it’s a one-way ticket to you masturbating alone for the 10th night in a row.
- “I’ve been watching you all night.” Dude, that’s just creepy. They might be trying to channel Christian Grey and make you feel special, but they’ve probably used this on three other girls before they got to you. Those women most likely turned them down and you’d be wise to do the same.
- “Insert unbearably cliche pickup line here.” Anyone who has the audacity to used a pickup line SERIOUSLY needs to go home. Now.
- “I’m a feminist.” Nowadays, guys will try and appear super woke in an attempt to get with you, but using the fact that they consider women and men equal to get us to sleep with them is just extremely hypocritical and offensive. They should just be feminists; talk about social justice issues with us and genuinely listen to what we have to say. Actions are stronger than words, after all.
