The Basic Bitch phenomenon continues and we couldn’t help but do a guy version: the Basic Bro. Are you dating one? Here are 30 signs your man is cookie-cutter and could use some originality:
1. He talks and laughs way too loudly.
2. His apartment is crap but his TV surround sound cost as much as his car.
3. He travels in packs of dudes wearing jeans and untucked dress shirts.
4. The hardest drug he’s ever done is weed.
5. He peaked in high school.
6. He’s never met a mirror he didn’t love.
7. He thinks period sex is gross.
8. He waxes.
9. He wants to be Tucker Max.
10. Cologne commercials speak to him.
11. He has at least one pair of pastel pants.
12. He uses Axe body spray.
13. He’s obsessed with Fantasy Football.
14. He’s seen The Wolf of Wall Street numerous times.
15. He likes a good tan.
16. He shops.
17. He pops his collars.
18. He’s really into P90X or Crossfit.
19. He plays music during sex, usually something by Robin Thicke.
20. He has a guitar, or some other instrument, in his apartment that he can’t even play.
21. His kitchen cupboard has nothing in it but a tub of protein powder.
22. He uses the words “gay” or “retarded to describe things he doesn’t like.
23. He’s so pissed that Entourage is over and can’t wait for the movie.
24. His chest is bigger than yours.
25. He refers to his favorite sports teams as “we.”
26. He watches sex online but nothing too deviant.
27. He thinks Kate Upton is soooooo hot.
28. He loves Family Guy.
29. He fist pounds and chest bumps.
30. He’s a total momma’s boy.
