Great relationships aren’t just a matter of luck and finding the right guy isn’t the key to happiness. It takes real effort not just to find a great relationship but to keep the love and excitement alive on both parts. A lot of couples get lost in the shuffle and find themselves in the same old routine while losing the luster of their once magical love story. If you’re already in a relationship, don’t let it become mundane. If you’re single, don’t get into a relationship and expect it to be amazing unless you’re willing to do these things:
- Never stop dating. Once you’re coupled up and comfortable, it doesn’t mean the fun and the dating should ever stop. Even if it seems easier and more comfortable to sit around in your comfy clothes and watch Netflix on the couch, you need to switch it up and put in some effort to get ready and go out. The beginning of your relationship started out with dating and putting your best feet forward, so don’t let it die just because you’re finally coupled up.
- Prepare to modify your bucket list. Some people are so rigid and give up on relationships so easily because their partners aren’t perfectly in sync with their life choices. Newsflash: relationships are about compromise and working together to build harmony with what you both desire. It’s not a one-sided thing. Sure, you can hold out and hope someone completely perfect comes along, but no one is going to be a complete copy of you, so don’t hold your breath. Why would you want that, anyway? If you’re not willing to accept the bad with the good, you’re never going to be happy in any relationship.
- Accept your partner for who they are completely. You shouldn’t ever need to change your partner. While there are always going to be wrinkles to iron out between two people from time to time, asking someone to change who they are completely is just out of line. If you need to change who a person is, they’re not your person. It’s that simple.
- Regularly make romantic and thoughtful gestures. The romance should never die in your relationship. While life definitely gets busier as the years go by and you have more responsibilities, the love aspect should never be pushed to the side. Even if it’s something as simple as sitting down with a cheese board filled with goodies and chatting over a bottle of wine in the kitchen, you need to make time for each other and keep doing kind things for one another to let the other know your love is still very much alive.
- Communication, communication, and more communication is the key. Bad communicators will generally have bad relationships because there’s nothing worse than trying to resolve conflict and issues with someone who doesn’t want to talk at all. The biggest and most important thing that exists in an amazing and healthy relationship is good communication. Hash out your frustrations when things get hard. Work through the growing pains. Say how you feel, but be thoughtful and create a safe space in your relationship where you can say what’s on your mind without having an epic battle. Without healthy communication, any relationship is doomed to fail.
- Take time for yourself. As wonderful as your relationship is, you’ll need to take a step away from it now and again to gather yourself, remember who you are and what makes you happy as an individual. It can be something as simple as going for a pedicure or sending your partner out for a guys’ night so you can have the couch and a bottle of wine all to yourself. Creating space is important to allow you both time to miss each other.
- Stop complaining and start appreciating. When you’re comfortable with someone, it’s hard not to fall into the habit of nagging and complaining about the daily nuisances of life, but stop and take a minute to think about it first. Many relationships become daunting when the bad elements are highlighted more than the good. Remember to be appreciative of the great things your partner does do for you, even if they’re small instead of making the predominant feedback negative and nagging.
- Keep the fire alive in and out of the bedroom. Sex and flirting are important, always and in any relationship, so if you’ve gone months without intimacy, it’s time to evaluate why. Feeling desired and making your partner feel desired is sure to keep any love ignited.
- Pick and choose your battles wisely. Every little disturbance doesn’t need to be a fight. Relationships are about patience and all the best relationships have plenty of it. It might seem easy to moan and groan about the trash not being taken out yet again or arguing about which Netflix show to watch but at the end of the day, is it really worth it? Great relationships don’t dig at the nitty gritty. They compromise and offer each other understanding. At the very least, they communicate like adults instead of getting into screaming matches over something completely petty.
- Accept the struggles and fight them together. You’re a team and as such, you need to work together. This love stuff isn’t easy. No one ever said that it wouldn’t be hard work at times, but when you truly love someone and you want an amazing relationship with them that lasts a lifetime, you need to be willing to do certain things to keep that great love alive.
