Be You — If He Can’t Handle It, He Doesn’t Deserve You

You’ve most likely dated at least one person who always made you feel a bit on edge. Whether you were trying too hard to impress them or felt they wouldn’t ever accept you for who you are, it sucked, right? You can’t have a real relationship with that dynamic. You simply MUST stick it out and wait for the right person.

  1. Life is too short to screw around. Sure, you can bide your time with someone who’s fun for now but who you know you’ll never end up with long-term. It’s okay and all, but what if the distraction keeps you from the person you would actually enjoy being with as a partner? Time flies by and we don’t get a lot of chances at real happiness. You need to be open and willing to receive someone who loves you for who you are.
  2. You’ll never be happy with someone who doesn’t accept you. Everyone dreams of finding that person you can be your flawed, imperfect self with, but not many people actually get it. Instead, you settle, afraid that you’ll end up all alone if you hold out for your ideal. You’d rather have something than nothing at all, but that’s not the way to go. You’ll always wonder what could have happened if you’d just waited.
  3. It’ll give you joy you never knew existed. You are already joyful because you love who you are, but it’s different to find another person who accepts you just as happily as you accept yourself. It feels amazing, and it doesn’t happen all that often. When you meet someone who doesn’t try to change you or criticize you in any way, you’ll be so glad that you decided not to go for someone else.
  4. Everything about the relationship will be better. Even if you’ve had decent relationships in the past, true acceptance from both partners takes love to a whole new level. You may have thought you were satisfied before, but you simply didn’t know better. Now you understand what all the hype is about. You’ll never accept less from anyone ever again.
  5. You’ll reach new levels of intimacy. You can only get to a certain level of closeness with someone who doesn’t accept you for who you truly are. You’ll always be a little self-conscious, a little on guard and a little uneasy. When you find true ease with a partner who embraces you, you’ll be amazed at the new depths the two of you can reach together. You no longer hide anything but instead allow yourself to be fully vulnerable.
  6. Your partner will inspire you to return the favor. You’ll be so happy that you’ll work overtime to ensure that the person who accepts you feels completely accepted in return. It’s the least you can do, and you’ll be excited to do it. If it’s a true match, your willingness to let each other be your own unique selves will come easily and naturally.
  7. Your patience will pay off like crazy. It’s tough to be patient sometimes, especially if it feels like that means you’ll be alone forever. You despair of ever finding the right person. Sometimes you even feel downright invisible. The thing about love is that it happens when you least expect it. One day you’re going along minding your own business, single AF, and then you meet someone and nothing’s ever the same again. It’s worth it.
  8. You’ll feel like you’re experiencing love for the first time. There’s nothing quite like being with a person who’s a perfect fit for you. Everything that once felt forced or awkward or strange now comes as easily as can be. You feel like you can say or do anything around this person and they’ll still adore you just the same. It’s the most liberating sensation in the world. No wonder you want to be around them all the time. They make you feel incredible.
  9. It’ll blow your mind on a daily basis. Just when you think it can’t get any better… it does. Every little thing your partner says and does feels special because it never occurs to them that you shouldn’t be treated wonderfully. For you, not having experienced that before, it’s like a mini miracle every single time. You can’t believe your good fortune — and the amazing part is that your person feels exactly the same way about you.
  10. Your partner will give you complete permission to be an autonomous individual. The person who really understands and accepts you knows that you need space to be yourself. They wouldn’t want it any other way, and they love that you allow them their own freedom as well. It’s a lovely thing, being in such a balanced and healthy relationship. You’ll never understand it until you’re there, and then it’ll seem ridiculous that you ever put up with anything less.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.
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