My BFF Dumped Me For Her New Boyfriend

I once considered her one of my best friends but she ended up ditching me for the new guy in her life anyway. Great. No matter how many times it happens, it never hurts any less to feel like you lost someone important in your life. It sucks, but I’m starting to realize that maybe she wasn’t a great friend after all.

I’M HAPPY SHE FOUND A GREAT GUY. Don’t get me wrong—I always knew she would eventually find the right guy and I always wanted that for her. I genuinely want her to be happy and find someone to share her life with, but I never thought it would be the end of our friendship. Isn’t that what friends do? We want the best for each other and are there for the big life moments? I guess I just wasn’t invited to this big moment in her life.

I’M SURE SHE LOVES TO SPEND TIME WITH HIM. I’m sure she has so much in common with him and genuinely wants to spend as much time together as possible. I mean, what girl in love doesn’t go through this phase? But that’s just it—shouldn’t it be a phase? If she’s going to spend the rest of her life with this guy, don’t you think she could spare a few hours to get coffee with the other people in her life? The rest of your life doesn’t suddenly disappear when a guy shows up, and I wish she would realize that there are people waiting to hear from her.

IT’S OKAY THAT I’M NOT HER FIRST PRIORITY. I never expected to be her first priority in life—that spot is reserved for God and family—but I definitely expected a spot on her list. I grew to expect a phone call from her on the weekends asking to make plans when she had time or for her to stop over at my house to catch up after work. I didn’t expect her to hang out with me every week but it always happened that way.

I DON’T THINK I’M EVEN ON HER LIST ANYMORE. Even though I expected her new relationship to have priority over me, I never thought she would just push me off the list entirely. It’s been months since she called to check in and most of my texts go unanswered. Every time I have an important thing come up in my life, she tells me she most likely has plans with her boyfriend so she won’t make it. At this point, the priority list doesn’t even exist anymore—it’s just his name written in big letters on the page.

WE USED TO BE INSEPARABLE. We used to do everything together. In college, she was always at my apartment studying, making dinner with me or getting ready to go out on the weekend. Even after we graduated, we always got our nails done together, had weekly study dates and went on regular road trips. Life happens and things get in the way, but who would’ve thought she’d just ghost me out of the blue?

NOW SHE LITERALLY NEVER CALLS. I invite her to get-togethers, parties and coffee dates with hardly a reply beyond “I’m busy.” I try to go out of my way to include her and even invite her boyfriend to come along too but they never show. She never calls to see how things have been or to ask to see me. As someone who cares deeply about her friends, it hurts so much.

I HELPED HER THROUGH THE LONELY TIMES. Before she found this guy, I was always there to help her through being lonely. If she didn’t have plans, she was always invited to mine. If she someone to cheer her up because of a bad date, you know I was there with ice cream and a movie. When she just needed some encouraging words, I was the first one to give them. I thought she’d share her feelings with me about this new guy after going through so much together, but I think she just forgot about all of that.

I ALWAYS TOOK THE TIME FOR HER. She knew she could call me at any time and I would drop what I was doing to help her. I always made her part of my plans and rearranged my plans to accommodate her schedule. She knew that I was a real friend and she could count on me. Maybe I was naive and gave too much, but I’m just a giving person by nature.

IT’S HURTFUL THAT I COULD BE REPLACED. After spending so much time investing in our friendship, how could I not be hurt when she just threw it away? I never thought I could be replaced by a guy but it totally happened. I always thought there would always be a place for me somewhere in her life but I was wrong. It totally sucks to feel disposable.

I FEEL LIKE OUR FRIENDSHIP WON’T EVER BE THE SAME. If she ever comes around and starts to reach out to me again, of course I’ll forgive her and continue our friendship, but it won’t feel the same. When you get knocked down by someone this hard and the true colors come out, it doesn’t matter how much effort they put in after the fact. Even though we may be close again, I’ll never forget how quickly she decided I wasn’t important anymore.

SHE HAS TO LIVE HER LIFE BUT I WISH I COULD BE A PART OF IT. I want her to live her life, follow her dreams and achieve everything imaginable—I’d never want to hold her back from those things. Maybe she has to do some of those things on her own but I’ve always wanted to be able to watch and cheer her on. I hope she’ll realize that I was always here and she doesn’t want to watch me fade out of her life forever.

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