No one will ever replace my mom. She brought me into this world and offered me the love, care and dedication I needed to become the person I am today. Without her, I’d be nothing. That’s why, when I lost her way too soon — and really, anytime would have been too soon — I began to realize that I didn’t just lose my mom, I lost these things too:
- My biggest cheerleader. No matter what crazy idea popped into my head or what ridiculous hobby I took on, my mom was always there to encourage me and be my number one fan. She never belittled the things I loved or questioned me. Instead, she welcomed my every idea with open arms and was always there to push me to be the greatest I could be. I don’t think I ever appreciated how important that was and I miss having her support every day.
- The person who was always there for me. People have busy lives and even my best friends can’t be there for you 24/7. The only person who would drop everything to be there at my side, no matter what time of day or night, was my mom. Whether I was freaking out over school or work or crying my eyes out over a stupid boy who didn’t deserve me, my mom was always there to apply salve to my wounds and nurture my heart and soul back to health. No matter how bad I felt, I always knew I wasn’t alone — she was always there for me and with me. I know that she is now too and I try to find comfort in that but, of course, it’s not the same. I’ll never stop feeling her absence.
- My life coach. Once I got over my bratty teenage years, I started to realize that everything my mom ever told me was kinda right. It was then that I began to truly value the heartfelt advice she offered me on everything from which dress to wear to a party to what career path to choose and which guy to date. Without her, I feel very insecure and uncertain about whether I’m making the right choices. It’s as if I need to hear her wise voice telling me what she thinks, and giving me validation. But now, I guess I have to settle for what I think she would have said, and just do my best to make her proud of me.
- My best friend. Yes, I’ve got girlfriends whose closeness I value, but nothing compares to the friendship I shared with my mom. Not only did she take care of me and ensure that I always felt safe and loved, she was also an amazing woman in her own right who made me laugh. I still see flashes of the moments we had together and I’d do anything to have that back. I wish I could relive just some of those moments — I’d just stare at her, every detail of her and soak it all in.
If you recently lost your mom and are looking for support, here’s a great resource: Motherless Daughters
