My Body’s Not Perfect, But The Right Guy Will Think It Is

I believe that as long as we are taking care of our bodies to the best of our ability, we should be confident as whatever shape we find ourselves. Even the most confident women experience the occasional sliver of doubt in our self-worth when a new guy comes into the picture, but I refuse to let that get to me. I love my body is amazing as-is and I’ll never change it for anyone.

1. I’VE NEVER FIT BODY IDEALS. I’ve often found myself frustrated looking around at all the girls who are six feet tall and fit in size two jeans while eating whatever they wanted. I was usually feeding my jealousy while I worked out for hours and drank vegetables as meals. The truth is, I was never meant to be a size two. I was meant to be a size 10. I have large shoulders and curvy thighs and I’ve always been one of the tallest girls in every group. I was meant to be me — it just took me a long time to realize it.
2. I USED TO BE SELF-CONSCIOUS. I used to loathe getting dressed up because I saw nothing but flaws. All my friends were light years ahead of me with their hair and makeup and always looked nice. Fighting through that self-consciousness through the years taught me that confidence is one of the most important things to hold onto within yourself. Now, I refuse to lose my confidence for a guy who doesn’t see my unique beauty.
3. I GOT MADE FUN OF FOR MY LOOKS. When I was a kid, I was curvy in all the wrong places. I was the tallest girl in my class with broad shoulders and thick thighs. On top of those features, I was a total tomboy with braces and a bad perm, so I was the target of a lot of teasing. I never found anything wrong with me until others started pointing out my flaws. Thankfully, I’ve come to a point in my life where I love my flaws because they’re part of what makes me who I am. What’s not to love?
4. MY BODY IS ATHLETIC And Incredibly Strong. Instead of hating how different my body is from other girls’, I’ve learned to appreciate how it is built for strength. I refuse to downplay my strength in order to make boys see me as more feminine or small. My body carries me around every day and accomplishes amazing things, and that’s something to be proud of.
5. I TAKE Really good CARE OF MYSELF. I live an active lifestyle, eat healthy meals and drink plenty of water on the daily. I’m disciplined and work hard to keep myself healthy, and I have every reason to be proud of that effort and my healthy body. So what if a guy thinks I could be smaller? I’m healthy, and that’s what matters.
6. I KNOW HOW TO DRESS MY FIGURE. I love clothes and have developed a style that fits me. I know what pieces flatter my figure and how to help myself look my best. My appearance is a place to express my personality and no one has the right to invade that expression with negativity, period.
7. I Don’t Need a guy’s compliments — my confidence comes from within. I don’t need a man doting on me with compliments day and night. I know who I am, I’m aware of the beauty I possess, and I embrace my own flaws. If a guy doesn’t want to love every part of me, I’m fine because I can love myself.
8. I’M NOT INTERESTED IN COMPARING MYSELF. Women already have enough pressure to be desirable, so why should I add fuel to the fire by comparing myself to others? The only way guys will learn to appreciate different kinds of beauty is when women do the same and lift each other up instead of competing with each other.
9. I DON’T EXIST TO PLEASE MEN. When I look in the mirror every morning, I’m not thinking about the guys I will cross paths with. Whether I’m decked out to the nines or totally bumming it in sweats, the attention I get doesn’t define me. I have a purpose greater than impressing guys, and knowing that is freeing as hell.
10. I HAVE MORE TO OFFER THAN MY FIGURE. In addition to having beautiful, womanly features, I also have a big brain, heart, and soul. I have passions to chase, ideas to build on and goals to reach. I have a heart full of love and a mind that never stops dreaming. I don’t want to think about selling my soul to feel attractive to anyone.
11. I LOVE ALL OF ME, NOT JUST PARTS. Of course I have features that I love more than others, but I’m more than a sum of my parts. I refuse to pick apart my features and put them into categories of beautiful and ugly. If a guy has this mindset, he won’t appreciate the whole of who I am and will pick me apart out of habit. No thanks.
12. IF HE WANTS A DIFFERENT LOOK, HE CAN FIND A DIFFERENT GIRL. He wants me to be blonde and a size four? There are plenty out there. If he doesn’t want me as I am, then he needs to find the girl he really wants. I’m willing to walk away from potential relationships if they would rather change me into their fantasy than love who I naturally am.
13. THE RIGHT GUY WILL MAKE ME HIS BEAUTY STANDARD. When I find the right guy, I’ll be his ultimate standard of beauty. He will love the person I am and have eyes for no others. A guy who deserves me will commit to loving all of me even when it isn’t put together or traditionally attractive. I’m holding out for that because I’m worth it.