I’m in a bit of an interesting situation: my current boyfriend cheated on his girlfriend with me and now we’re together. It sounds complicated, and trust me — it really is. Here’s how our unorthodox beginnings have affected our relationship:
- I feel like he only cheated because he was unhappy. Before he broke up with his girlfriend, I could tell he was stressed. Not only because he was cheating on her, but because he knew he wasn’t in love with her anymore and didn’t know what to do about it. He said he was unhappy for a while, and no one should have to live that way.
- I don’t completely trust him. Even though I understand why he did it, I now see him as someone who has cheated, and it’s really hard to let that go. Every now and then I’ll be reminded of it and start to get paranoid over whether he’s telling the truth or not.
- A part of me knows he did it out of love. I first thought he did it because he was too afraid to break it off with her and didn’t want to hurt her, but I’d rather believe that he did it because he loved me THAT much. I know that cheating should be unforgivable, but since I’m on the other side, I’m kind of glad he did it.
- He claims to have never cheated before, so I’m telling myself it was a fluke. He said this was the first and only time he’s cheated and swears by it. I really want to believe him, and I pretty much do — there’s just a small part of me that doesn’t, but maybe that feeling will go away. After all, he really doesn’t strike me as the cheating type.
- I like to believe that I’ll be the one who changes him. Even though he was unfaithful to his girlfriend, it doesn’t mean it will happen to me. I like to believe that I’m different and that he only cheated because he was feeling unappreciated or stuck. I trust that since he risked so much for me, he’s serious about us and would never do anything to mess it up.
- I feel like everyone has cheated at least once. I kinda have this theory that everyone has cheated at least once, even if it’s just emotional. We’ve all let our minds wander. We’ve all sought solace in someone else when we should have gone to our partner for help. We’ve all flirted with the waiter while our boyfriend is in the bathroom. See? Everyone does it to some extent.
- His girlfriend was apparently “crazy”. Even if he wanted to break up with her, she would have refused to go along with it. Apparently she has a short temper and would go nuts on him if he even suggested they spend some time apart. I guess cheating was a way to escape without making the tiger mad.
- I get stressed when he comes home late or goes out without me. I never thought I would be the paranoid girlfriend, but I’m quickly turning into her. When he comes home later than he said or changes his plans, I get suspicious, and I hate it. I try not to ask too many questions, but I can’t help it, especially with what happened.
- I think less of him because of it. We’ve moved past it, and he promised me it was only a one-time thing, but for some reason I still think of him as being lesser than because of it. It’s as if he’s some kind of fool with no control over himself. I know I shouldn’t be having these thoughts about the man I love, but every now and then, they sneak in.
- A part of me is afraid I’ll never be able to fully trust him. What if ten years go by and I’m still thinking about it? I don’t want to look into his eyes on our hypothetical wedding day and see him as a cheater. I’m honestly afraid that’s where I’m heading.
