Casual Dating Isn’t For Me, So Don’t Date Me Unless You See A Future With Me

I don’t want to be with someone who sees me as temporary. I want to be his forever person, someone he wants to build a future with, not some fling or short-lived fancy. Here are 14 reasons I refuse to be someone’s “just for now” deal.

I’m not in this for fun. Sure, relationships should be fun, but honestly, that’s not the motivation for me to get into a relationship. I want to be in a relationship that’s going places, not just chilling in stagnant water. Where’s the fun in that?

I’m aware of the clock. Since entering my 30s, I’ve become much more aware of my time and I value it so much more than I used to. Why would I waste all those precious minutes, days, weeks, and years on a guy who’s not valuing my time but wasting it like it means nothing? Hell no.

I’m future-oriented. I know how to enjoy the present (most days), but mainly I’m always thinking ahead. I want to be sure that the guy standing next to me is also seeing a future, not cropping me out of his. What sh*t is that? We have to be on the same path, looking to the same future, for this to work.

Take my hand and jump. I want the guy I’m with to jump into our relationship whole-heartedly, not annoy me because he doesn’t know what he wants while he’s shivering on the side of the relationship pool, afraid to get into the water. Please—if you’ve been dating me for months and still don’t know what you want, you don’t want me.

I want growth. I don’t want to be in a relationship that doesn’t grow over time. I want to be in a healthy one that enables me to grow as a person while also allowing us to grow as a couple. We should be working towards goals and helping each other. If the guy isn’t bringing progress to our relationship then WTF are we doing together?

I crave stability. It’s a problem if the guy I’m dating craves parties, single life and having fun. I want to enjoy myself in a relationship, but I can’t really do so if I feel uncertain or worried about where it’s going. I need stability to be happy.

I want “The One.” It might sound cheesy, but I want the guy I’m with to be “The One.” I get bored with someone who seems like a great fit for now but who I can’t see myself doing things with in the future. What’s the point? If I’m with a guy who doesn’t see me as his possible forever person, then he needs to let me go. Otherwise, he’s just screwing both of us over.

I’m so over games. The older I get, the less tolerance I have for guys who play games. I don’t want to sit and puzzle over some guy’s mixed messages. I want a guy who’s clear about what he wants and how he feels. His love for me has to be stronger than his inclination to play games. If it’s not, then he’s not ready for forever.

I want more than intentions. When a guy has good intentions to do certain things like make our relationship official but he never does, that’s not good enough. The road to hellish relationships is paved with good intentions. I need something more concrete, and if a guy truly loves me, he’ll give it to me without hesitation.

I won’t censor myself. I know I’m with a guy who doesn’t see me as his forever person when being around him causes me to censor my real feelings. I hold back out of fear of scaring him away or making him think I’m getting too serious too fast. With a guy who sees me in his future in a big way, I won’t have those fears or restrictions. Bliss.

I want to be myself. Part of being with a forever person is being accepted for who I am, flaws included. A forever person will show me that he wants to reach that level of intimacy where we can trust each other to be 100 percent comfortable. I want nothing less than that.

I don’t want people to settle. I refuse to settle for a mediocre relationship or someone who doesn’t make me feel alive, but I also don’t want to be with a guy who’s settling for me. What an insult! It doesn’t do either of us any favors and it puts me off the guy right away.

I’m not a bed warmer. I’m not the type of person to keep a guy’s bed warm. I’m worth so much more than that. If a guy doesn’t see me for the goodness I bring to his life, then he needs to walk away. If he doesn’t, then I’ll walk away and save myself the drama of being someone’s convenience.

He has to say “yes” to the extra mile. I’m sorry but so many people have become lazy daters these days. It’s all about making as little effort as possible. That’s such diluted love! I won’t stand for it. I want a guy who makes a real effort to have me, who shows me that he deserves me and that he’s not taking me for granted. If he sees me as his forever person, he’ll do that. If not, he’d better be prepared for me leaving because it’s going to happen right now. I’ll find my “forever” somewhere else.

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