If you’re fed up with going on dates and getting nothing in return except for another crappy date story you don’t even want to tell anymore, you have every right to feel that way — but you won’t get anywhere with that kind of attitude, either. Here’s how to stop feeling like dating is a waste of time (because you deserve love and giving up is super lame):
- Don’t blame yourself. If you think that you’re the reason that dating is so horrible sometimes, you’re going to end up pretty miserable. You’re not the reason that it sucks. It sucks because dealing with people is pretty tough and when you don’t know these guys, weird things are going to happen. That’s really the whole deal. Stop blaming yourself — you’re holding up your end of the bargain 100%.
- Date less. You might think that doing the opposite — filling up your schedule with first dates — is the best thing to do, but it’s actually not. The more bad dates you go on, the worse you’re going to feel and that’s not what you want. If you go on a handful of dates a month, you’re proving to yourself that you can definitely get dates… but you have room to live your own life too and space to breathe.
- Don’t be a stranger. Okay, you’re a total stranger to the guys you’re going out with, but not to your best friends. They deserve to know what’s going on with you and they want to hear all your thoughts and feelings, especially when it comes to dating. These talks will be total comfort food and you’ll feel much better knowing that they’re dealing with the same stuff.
- Make your life amazing. You swear you’re going to live life to the fullest but it can be hard to actually do that. If you let dating get down, you won’t enjoy the rest of your life, and then you’re just in a bad mood all around. Create your best life ever and you won’t loathe being single and dating. You’ll just think of it as par to your life, but not the entire thing.
- Think of the alternative. The opposite of going on dates? Going on no dates, of course. That’s totally fine if you’re taking a dating break since you’re not trying to go out with anyone. It’s not so great if you’re being a total and complete quitter. If you think of the alternative, you’ll realize that not dating means never finding love again, and that’s pretty sad.
- Support yourself. Treat yourself like your most fave BFF and tell yourself that you’re doing an awesome job. Don’t think about the small failures, like the guys who ignore you when you message them or the creepy comments you get or the dates that didn’t happen. Think about how brave you are to even be doing this in the first place.
- Don’t focus on it. When you’re upset about something and you dwell on it, you already know that makes it seem even more horrible. If you can possibly chill out about dating and stop thinking about it so much, you won’t believe how much happier you feel. Focus on something, anything, else. Like your job. That’s always a good idea. The rest will totally fall into place.
- Have a little faith. You can call it faith or you can call it having trust in the universe — whatever you want. The point is that you should believe that you will find what you’re looking for, no matter how much you don’t believe that right now.
- Switch it up. If you’re a one dating app kind of girl, there’s no shame in that and it can definitely make life a little bit easier. But you can still switch things up if you want. Try a new app. Try using it every day and then try using it once a week. You don’t have to lock yourself into a certain way of dating. If you want to change things up sometimes, that’s going to help keep things positive and fresh.
- Get some deja vu. The truth is that you’ve probably felt this way before, at least once (if not a million times). Remember when you hated dating and wanted to give up. Then remember how you didn’t — how you kept going and how you got over yourself. Once you realize that getting frustrated sometimes is totally normal and that you can survive it, you won’t mind dating. At least not as much.
