Coming across a player every once in a while is an unfortunate dating inevitability thanks to the growth of hookup culture in the last few years. But by now, most of us know the warning signs and how to avoid letting players get under our skin. You’re free to date whoever you like, but just know that if you’re one of those girls who keeps putting up with players, you’re making dating harder for the rest of us. Here’s how:
- Guys will take what they can get. If you’re willing to give a guy what he wants even though he acts like a complete douche canoe the majority of the time, then where’s his incentive to be a decent human being? Even responding to his late night texts is too much because he’ll see that as an opening and do his very best to capitalize on it.
- You’re making them lazy. Once you send the message that he doesn’t have to make any effort to get what he wants, he’s going to expect it to always be that way. Why bother chasing a girl when he can just pick one with low self-esteem who is desperate for attention? Don’t be that girl.
- You’re helping them develop bad habits. Laziness leads to bad habits that are hard to break. He sees how effective being a jerk can be so he keeps doing it, and by accepting it, you’re enabling him. Would you hand him a pack of cigarettes if you wanted him to quit? No. So why are you letting him your pants if you want him to quit being such a jerk?
- They’ll start to think girls like jerks. If you’re always going for guys who treat you badly, can you blame them for thinking you actually like being treating that way? If you didn’t like it, you wouldn’t put up with it, right? It’s obviously not that black and white, but players aren’t exactly known for their ability to pick up on the nuances of human psychology.
- Just because other girls are doing it doesn’t mean you should too. If you’re not willing to settle for a guy’s crappy behavior, there’s another girl who will — that’s never going to change. But that doesn’t mean you should lower your expectations. If you refuse to accept less than you deserve, at least that’s one step in the right direction for the single and dating masses. Don’t keep contributing to the wasteland that dating has become.
- There’s now a market for player behavior. Where there’s demand, plenty of guys who don’t know anything about women will rush to be the supply. If you’re looking for a guy who treats you like crap, there are plenty of them out there, but they only exist because girls like you are so mind-bogglingly eager to date them. The rest of us would really prefer not to have to deal with their penis pics and late night booty calls.
- They never see the consequences of their actions. Players will stay players until they realize their tactics aren’t working anymore. They don’t care if they hurt someone because they’re never around to witness it. By giving them the time of day even though you have a pretty good idea what’s going to happen, you’re giving them a pass to be a jerk.
- You’re discouraging the nice guys. Not that you should date a guy simply because he’s nice to you, but it wouldn’t hurt to re-evaluate the types of things you want in a boyfriend. Then you’ll realize players don’t really have anything to offer and maybe they don’t deserve the attention you’ve been giving them.
- It’s like you’re accepting you can’t do any better. You know that player isn’t worth your time, and yet you give it to him anyway. Why are you sending the message that he is the best you can do? Instead, demand more for yourself and your friends, and we can all watch the player breed go extinct together.
- You’re making it too easy for them. Even if it takes a lot more effort to get into a girl’s pants and then disappear, there will still be guys out there that will do it. So you could at least emerge with your pride intact knowing that you didn’t give in at the first hint of a little attention. Help the rest of us out a little and don’t let the players win so easily.
