While there are some obvious signs that a guy you like doesn’t feel the same, there are some other potential red flags that could be totally misleading. You could end up walking away from a dude who’s actually really into you because you mistakenly thought he wasn’t feeling it. Here are 10 things guys do sometimes that don’t necessarily mean they’re not interested:
- Not pushing for sex. Just because it’s 2017 and we’re in the midst of hookup culture doesn’t mean that every single guy is going to want to push you for sex right off the bat and move on to the next girl if you don’t give it up. Some guys — not all, but some — do still genuinely want to get to know who a girl is before they jump into bed with them. It may be rare, but it’s not unheard of. If he’s not trying to get into your pants, it doesn’t mean he’s not trying to get into your heart.
- Texting back at a glacial pace. Not all guys are the avid texters we all seem to be. If he takes hours or even a day or so to get back to you, it doesn’t automatically mean he’s got you on the back burner. There are still a few people out there who aren’t glued to their phones and he could be one of them. Until you see his texting habits for yourself, don’t get too worked up if he doesn’t respond right away.
- Not introducing you to his friends right away. If you’ve been dating for a month or two and you still haven’t met his friends, it’s not always a bad sign. His friends are a clear reflection of him and if he’s trying to be a perfect gentleman with you because he really cares, he could just not be ready to let you see what a “bro” he can be sometimes. He wants you to like him so he doesn’t want to do anything to risk that. Just keep an eye on how long he keeps you out of his life and that will tell you all you need to know.
- Not asking you out right away. You’ve been stealing glances and flirting for a couple of months but he still hasn’t asked you on that date. You’re starting to think you’ve been misreading his signals, and maybe you have, but trust your intuition. He could just want to get to know you better first before taking that step or he could just be one of those guys that like to take their time when it comes to asking girls out. It’s not a deal-breaker if he doesn’t jump for that date as soon as you meet. Besides, if you’re into him, you could always make the first move…
- Not paying you compliments. Some guys are more about actions than they are about words. It’s nice to be complimented by the object of your affection, but if he’s not calling you beautiful all the time and is still spending quality time with you and keeping contact on a regular basis, then you’re in the clear. Some guys just aren’t free with compliments or they feel awkward giving them. It’s no biggie. Besides, wouldn’t you rather have a guy who makes you FEEL beautiful than just one who constantly tells you that you are?
- Not offering to pay on your date. It’s the 21st century, after all, and that means that the dating game has changed. The guy doesn’t automatically have to pay for any date if he doesn’t want to and that shouldn’t make you think that he likes you any less. Splitting the bill or taking turns is better anyway. If he’s still going out on dates with you then he’s into you, whether or not he pays.
- Being a commitment-phobe. If he tells you blatantly that he isn’t ready for a relationship, you should always believe him. However, that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t think you’re an amazing woman. He could still be nursing a broken heart or even be terrified of another one, or losing his freedom. There are a million reasons why a man won’t rush into a relationship, even with a woman he’s crazy about, so take stock about how he treats you over what he’s willing to call the relationship. Of course, if you want a guy who will call you his girlfriend and he won’t, it’s time to move on.
- Liking other girls’ social media posts. We as a species have put way too much energy into social media. We worry about a guy we’re into liking someone else every time he clicks on another girl’s photo and it has to stop. It takes less than a second to click that like button and there’s a good chance he barely even thought about. Unless he’s spending a considerable amount of time scouting other women’s profiles and obsessively liking and commenting on their stuff, don’t get hung up over a few random likes.
- Talking about other girls to you. If you’re into a guy and he says that another girl is attractive, that doesn’t mean he thinks that you’re any less hot. You have to take into account the context in which these interactions take place. Is he admiring beauty or being a horn dog? You should be able to tell.
- Wanting to take things slow. In the age of instant gratification, it can be hard to imagine someone wanting to build a relationship slowly. If the guy you’re into happens to mention that he doesn’t want to rush anything, it’s not necessarily a blow off. He could genuinely want to just take the time to really build something with you. Calm down and enjoy the ride.
