I’ve spent far too much time and energy in my life focusing on men and what they want. Whenever I have a boyfriend, his needs come first. It took being single for quite a while to learn what I want and need from my life to be happy and fulfilled. Now that I know how to take care of myself and work on my own future, I refuse to get sidetracked for love ever again. It’s just not worth it.
- I’m done putting men first. I used to devote myself entirely to my relationship because it enabled me to avoid dealing with my own life. I had no idea what I wanted, so I tried to distract myself with every single boyfriend I had. Funny enough, that meant I was always unhappy and dissatisfied. No matter how much I justified my behavior, deep down I know that it was dysfunctional and unhealthy.
- I figured out the hard way that I have to take care of myself before any guy. I’ve always been completely wrecked by breakups because I made my relationships my entire reason for living. They brought me all my joy and happiness. My moods depended entirely on my partner’s moods. It wasn’t good for me and I had to go through an extremely brutal post-breakup depression in order to change my life around completely. I can’t afford to go down that road again.
- I have dreams to achieve. I spent too many of my young years worried and confused with no clear direction. It took a lot of hard work, introspection, and time alone to begin understanding what I truly want for myself. I had to make the effort to really look at who I am without a guy clouding my vision. Now that I know what I want, I’m extremely focused and driven. There’s simply not much room for a man anymore.
- I have no more time to waste. I’m definitely not getting any younger. I wish I’d figured out my life’s path a bit sooner, but there’s no point frittering precious minutes away on regrets. Now that I’m confident and secure in who I am as a person, I want to devote as much energy as possible to making my goals a reality. I can’t justify spending any of that momentum getting bogged down in the minutiae of dating. I’d rather stay single.
- Love is great, but it’s not everything. I no longer need a relationship as a crutch and that feels amazing. I used to think my life was nothing until I found romance, but now I realize it’s the other way around. I need to develop my journey the way I want it first. If love comes along as an added bonus, that’s great, but I’ll survive if it doesn’t. I like being alone. I have no problem forging a solo path for myself.
- Relationships pull my focus. It’s a simple fact — I can’t be in a relationship without taking time and energy away from everything else in my life. There’s only so much to go around, and every new commitment dilutes it. I try to conquer the world and do as much as possible. I have a hard time telling myself to focus on only a few things. I want to do it all and more. Because I feel this way, and because I adore my friends so much, my love life is usually the first thing to go when I need to cut something out.
- Any man who dates me has to understand my priorities. I feel like a jerk, but I have to be honest with any guy who takes on the daunting task of trying to be with me. I know it’s not easy by any means. I have a very full and busy life and I’m not going to sacrifice it for him. I need a good deal of space and independence, and I am too scared to lose myself into the abyss of a relationship again. I have to proceed with a lot of caution and vigilance.
- I’ve lost my way too many times because of men. The problem here isn’t them, it’s me. I didn’t know who I was or what I wanted, so I latched on and quickly became co-dependent. I gave the relationship my all whether my boyfriend asked that of me or not. I just didn’t want to accept the responsibility of dealing with my stuff. Because I’m now very conscious of my past mistakes, I can’t afford to ever make them again. I won’t do it.
- I refuse to live with regrets. I don’t regret anything that’s happened because I’ve learned and become stronger from all of my errors. With that said, I intend to move forward with my eyes and soul open. It’s a bit scary and overwhelming and it takes constant effort and work to keep myself from making the same old mistakes. I do this because I don’t want to have any regrets to look back on. I won’t lose sight of my goals for any guy ever again.
- I’m not sure I’m even meant to be with anyone. I’m most in my element when I’m doing my thing alone. I’ve always been a bit of a loner, but I spent a long time ignoring my issues and trying to fill up the void in my heart with men. Now that I’m working on filling that void permanently for myself, I don’t know that I can even be with another person. I’m not ready, and I have lots to do. I love being alone so much that I don’t know if I’ll ever get as much true joy from being with a guy.