When it really comes down to it, relationships are built on compromise. You can’t have exactly what you want at all times, so you work together to make sure you’re both happy, and you do it because you care about each other. Still, that doesn’t mean you should always be the one sacrificing things, and you should never date a guy who is all take and no give. Here’s why:
- A relationship should be 50/50. There will always be times when you’ll have to give in and let him have his way — but that means there should be times he’ll do the same for you. There’s no reason you should always have to do what he wants. If he can’t give things up for you sometimes, he doesn’t deserve it from you.
- You don’t need him to be happy. You’re under no obligation to stay with a guy who’s pretty much just using you to fulfill his every whim without giving you anything in return. You don’t need that guy in your life. In fact, you’ll probably be a lot happier without him. A guy who’s happy taking 100% of the time and giving nothing in return will be a drain on your energy and your overall well-being. Don’t let that happen.
- You’ll start to resent him eventually. As you realize he has no intention of compromising and will continue to expect you to be at his beck and call, you’ll stop being so willing to accommodate him. You’ll be missing out on things you want to do time after time, and eventually you’re going to start to regret it and probably hate him for it.
- He should care about your happiness. You’re in a relationship because you care about each other and make each other happy, right? If he expects you to ignore the life you had before you met him and fit seamlessly into his world, he’s delusional. You deserve to have interests that don’t revolve around your relationship and if he doesn’t agree, dump him.
- Give him an inch, he’ll take a mile. If you set a precedent for always giving into his whims and never fighting for what you want, it’s going to be a lot harder down the line if you want things to change. Instead, date a guy who respects your needs in the first place — that’s not something you should have to teach him.
- If you let him walk all over you, you can’t be surprised when he does it. You can’t exactly expect a guy to know what you need in every situation. That’s why you have to speak up if you’re not happy how things are. It’s possible he just doesn’t realize what he’s doing, but how would you ever know if you don’t ask for what you want?
- You need separate interests. If you start ignoring your own hobbies and going out with your friends less and less, eventually you’re going to be reliant on him for your entire social life. Time apart is important if you have any hope of not driving each other crazy. Besides, if a guy wants you attached at his hip at all times, it’s kind of a red flag. He might turn out to be really needy and controlling.
- Adults know how to compromise. Children don’t know the value of a good compromise and they want what they want when they want it. A grown up acting like should be one of the biggest turn-offs there is. If you’re noticing early on that he’s immature about getting his way, it’s only going to get worse down the road.
- He’s just manipulating you. What kind of tactics is he using to get you to constantly give in to him? If he’s manipulating your emotions in any way, that’s a giant sign you need to delete his number and never look back. Relationships are built on strong communication skills and that doesn’t involve playing games or being manipulative.
- He’s self-centered. If he expects you to drop everything to tend to his needs, he probably doesn’t even think about the possibility that you have other things you’d rather be doing. You might not want to miss your best friend’s birthday party to go to his random work function, but to him, it’s a given that you will. He doesn’t even consider that you’re making sacrifices, so the idea he might have to make it up to you later doesn’t cross his mind either.
