I Don’t Judge People For Sleeping Around, But It’s Not For Me

I’ve often wondered if there’s something wrong with me or if I need to lighten up a bit because I’ve always avoided sleeping around and instead gravitate towards committed relationships. However, over time, I’ve realized that casual sex just isn’t for me and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. I don’t look down on people who are comfortable hooking up with randoms, but for me, it’s a no-go. Here’s why:

  1. Sex Isn’t Everything to Me. Sure, sex is great, but it’s not like I have to have it in order to feel fulfilled. For people who crave sex, sleeping around works for them, but for me, it’s just not something that sits high on my priority list. I’d much rather take my time and find one person I really connect with than to have meaningless sex with a bunch of different people.
  2. I Can’t Help But Feel Used. Although my needs were getting met too, having casual sex left me feeling a bit used in the end. I think sex should be between two people who really care about each other, but how can I expect someone to care about me if we barely even know each other? I don’t want ever want to be someone’s go-to sex buddy. I have a lot more to bring to the table than just my body.
  3. I’d Rather Build an Emotional Bond. Building a strong emotional bond is something that takes precedence over sex in my life. I’d much rather feel a deep and close connection with someone, and I know that’s not possible if the relationship is solely based on sex.
  4. My Health Is Important to Me. Even if they wrap it up, there’s still a chance I’ll be putting my health at risk by having sex with a guy if I choose to sleep around. Since my health is important to me, I’m not going to take the chance of sleeping with someone who could also be sleeping around with several other people. It’s just not worth it. Of course, there’s no guarantee even in a committed relationship that STDs and the like won’t ever be an issue, but it’s certainly far less likely.
  5. Casual Sex Is Too Ambiguous. I like rules and structure when it comes to relationships, and sleeping around is just way too ambiguous for me. All the lines and boundaries just get blurry and the “anything goes” mentally gives me major anxiety. I’d rather have a relationship that can actually be defined than hook up with a bunch of people and perpetually get stuck in an inescapable gray area.
  6. It Gets Boring. Having sex without any kind of attachment or commitment starts off pretty fun, but after some time, I get completely bored. It’s a snoozefest for me to be involved with someone intimately who doesn’t care about how my day went or what my favorite food is. I need someone who can stimulate my mind and my body, and I’m not going to find that by casually hooking up with people.
  7. I Develop Feelings Fast. One of the main reasons I can’t have casual sex is because I develop feelings super fast. The whole point of hooking up with people is to have some NSA fun, but that’s not possible for me if I slowly start to become attached to the guy I’m hooking up with. It’s a disaster and I’d rather not go there.
  8. It Crushes My Self-Esteem. For some, it may feel empowering to take control of their sex life and have some stress-free fun with whomever. But for me, casual sex really does a number on my self-esteem. Although I’m having fun in the moment, when the encounter is over and the guy is heading out the door, I can’t help but feel crushed. It makes me feel like I’m only good enough to have sex with and nothing more.
  9. Sex Blinds Me From Red Flags. Sleeping around really blinds me from the truth. I get so caught up in the act of having sex that I don’t even realize the guy I’m sleeping with is a huge jerk. It’s easy to ignore the red flags when lust is taking over, and I tend to turn a blind eye to all the warning signs. I’m tired of putting myself into these crappy situations.
  10. I Know It Won’t Lead Anywhere So What’s the Point? It’s just sex, and I know I shouldn’t expect it to lead me to my happily ever after, so what’s the point? Casual sex makes me feel like I’m just wasting my time on a bunch of different situations that will never turn out the way I want them to. I’m pretty much delaying my own happiness by continuing to sleep with people who aren’t the type of partner I would want to settle down with eventually.
An avid internet surfer with a passion for writing.
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