Don’t Treat Him Like A Boyfriend When He’s Treating You Like A Random Hookup

Don’t Treat Him Like A Boyfriend When He’s Treating You Like A Random Hookup ©iStock/bogdankosanovic

No matter how much love, attention, and affection you give them, some guys are never going to return the favor. If you’re “dating” a dude who’s barely present in your life, it’s not you. For whatever reason, he can’t see how amazing you are and how fortunate he is to even know you. Screw that. If he’s not acting like a boyfriend, don’t treat him like one.

  1. He’s Inconsiderate. Does he do things even though he knows they’ll upset you? Does he leave your messages on read without responding for hours or days on end? Does he call you “bae” even though he knows how annoying you find that term? Does he change the station to country music while you’re in the middle of jamming out to your favorite pop song? Ruuudddeee.
  2. You Rarely Hear From Him. He used to text you every morning when he woke up, but now you hear from him less and less. Is he just lazy? Maybe, but it’s mind-blowing that an entire day can go by without him feeling an overwhelming urge to text you. If you really liked someone, you’d text them throughout the day — not because you’re a stage seven clinger but because you genuinely want to know about their day. So….why doesn’t he?
  3. He Doesn’t Spend Enough Time With You. He’s an incredibly busy person… he says. You don’t doubt it. You know he’s busy, but everyone has at least a little control over their schedule. Which means, everyone, for the most part, should be able to carve out a little time for their special person. If he can’t do that, it’s because he doesn’t want to. Or, he’d rather carve out time for things he deems more important than you. Either way, it’s no bueno.
  4. He Doesn’t Take You Out On Dates. No one’s begging to be wined and dined (well, some of us are, but not everyone). Still, being taken out on a couple of dates is something a guy should do instinctively, especially if that guy is your BOYFRIEND. He should spoil you every once in awhile, and not because he has to but because he genuinely wants to show you that he cares.
  5. He Can Never Throw You A Compliment. Boyfriends are supposed to think their girlfriends are attractive. That’s basically a universal fact. And because boyfriends think their girlfriends are attractive, they compliment them. It’s second nature. If he’s not complimenting you, you might start to wonder whether or not he’s really into you. That could lead to self-doubt, self-esteem issues, and a whole lot of other problems you don’t need in your life.
  6. He’s Unable To Effectively Communicate. His idea of communicating is him talking and you listening or you talking and him not listening. You never get the vibe that he’s paying attention to whatever it is you’re saying unless it’s directly related to him — something like “Game of Thrones.” If you can’t talk about real things with your boyfriend, he probably shouldn’t be your boyfriend.
  7. He Doesn’t Like To See You Upset. This might sound like a good thing, but it’s not. He doesn’t want to see you upset because he’s immature and incapable of truly being there for another person. Instead of asking you what’s wrong and seeing what he can do to make you feel better, he freaks out! Either he flips the script and makes it about him or he just straight up leaves.
  8. He Hasn’t Met Your Friends. You’ve invited him out with your friends numerous times, but he either flakes at the last minute or comes up with a silly excuse for why he can’t go. The worst part? He’s never taken the time to reschedule! Who does that?! Whenever you cancel on your friends (even if it’s simply because you don’t want to go), you at least try to make plans for another time, right? It’s because you’re not a horrible person — he is!
  9. He Doesn’t Take The Time To Get To Know You. You’ve known him for a while and you’ve taken an interest in his life. You know his goals, some of his past, and every other little detail he’s given you in the months that you two have been together, but he doesn’t know a lot about you. Granted, you’ve never been one to share your life story with someone, but he’s also never asked you any personal questions. Probably because he doesn’t really want to know.
  10. He Flirts With Everyone. The guy is a flirt, which is rarely a good quality for a boyfriend to have. He’s always texting girls he claims are “just friends” and throwing his award-winning smile at anyone — literally ANYONE — wearing leggings and a cropped workout top. Boyfriends shouldn’t do that! And honestly, that should go without saying.
  11. He’s A Lazy Lover. We’re not just talking about in the bedroom (although, being crap in the sack should kind of say it all), but he doesn’t give you the attention you deserve. It’s not just because he sucks, but because he doesn’t allow himself to fully like and/or fall in love with you. Maybe he has some emotional issues or maybe he just doesn’t know how. Regardless of the why, he can’t make himself vulnerable which means he’s not ready to be the boyfriend you truly deserve.
Jordan White is a writer based in Scottsdale, Arizona with more than 8 years of experience. She graduated from Northern Arizona University with a degree in Rhetoric and Creative Writing in 2015 and while there, she wrote for The Daily Wildcat. She has since written for sites including FanBread, and, of course, Bolde. You can find about more her on Facebook. She has a passion for giving her audience something to laugh about and despises the heat more than anything.
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