Oh no, poor little old me. My exes have all tied the knot and I’m sitting here all alone. What total BS! I’m far happier being single and there’s no one out there that can tell me I’d be better off tied down to one of my exes or anyone else for that matter. It’s not like being single is like the plague. I’m thrilled, whether anyone believes it or not.
It’s not a race to get married. Did I miss the starting pistol? When did this imaginary race start that I had to get married before my exes? I know some people freak out and hurry to get married just to prove they’ve moved on, but that doesn’t sound like a great reason to get hitched. I’ll just slow down, lose this race, and live my own life.
I’m happy for all of them. Were a lot of my exes complete asshats? Yes. Yet, I’m happy for them as long as they’re happy. After all, that means maybe they’ll leave me alone about getting back together. I’ve moved on with my life and it looks life they have too. What’s the big deal?
It’s not like I’m alone. Where the hell do people get that single means you’re alone? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Does it look like Taylor Swift is alone when she’s single? No. I might not be dating or married, but I’m not a social pariah. I have friends. I have family. Trust me, I’ll survive.
Right now, single fits better than marriage. Everyone’s different and right now, marriage just isn’t something I’m interested in. I have way too much going on. I don’t feel like I’d be able to give a boyfriend or husband the attention he deserves. Why make myself miserable just so I can beat my exes to the altar? No thanks. I’m happier being single.
I love having things my way. Okay, so I’m a little OCD when it comes to certain things and I don’t want someone else coming in and changing everything. I’m pretty sure it would be WWIII from day one. Then again, it might make a great reality TV show. Sorry, but I’m kind of set in my ways for now and I’m not changing for anybody.
I don’t have to worry about kids. Sure I have those certain friends and family members who pester me about kids, but there’s something about getting married that makes everyone got kid crazy. As long as I don’t put a diamond shackle on my finger, I get less grief about having tiny versions of me running around, and that thought’s enough to make me want to stay permanently single.
I’m fine being a third wheel. My exes aren’t the only ones who’ve already gotten married. At least half of my friends have taken the plunge. Believe me, I don’t feel awkward at all tagging along or hanging out watching Netflix with them. It’s kind of fun being single and not having to make sure my partner is okay with the whole double date thing.
When it happens, it happens. I’m not about to marry just to prove a point to an ex. What does that do? I settle down with someone I just kind of like while they move on to be happy. Great point (note the sarcasm). When I find someone, I’ll think about marriage. Until then, life’s going exactly the way I want. Isn’t that what’s most important?
I’ve already seen too many divorces. Yes, my exes have all gotten married before me — some of them twice, another three times. Weddings cost too much money to have to factor in a divorce. I’d rather wait until I know it’s right, even if that means staying single for a while. I know divorce parties are supposed to be fun, but I’d rather skip it if that’s alright.
I like being devoted only to me. I’ve been called selfish for this, but I like being devoted to myself. I hope to be just as devoted to my significant other one day, but for now, what’s wrong with me being selfish and taking care of me? Seriously, how could I be happier? I get to do what I want, when I want, and with whomever I choose. Best of luck to all my tied down exes, but I’m happier now that I’m single.
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