If He’s Only Into You When He’s Horny, He’s Not Actually Into You

If He’s Only Into You When He’s Horny, He’s Not Actually Into You ©iStock/oneinchpunch

Despite what some guys might tell you, love isn’t dependent on sex. To truly love someone, you have to know their heart, not just their body — so if a guy is basing his love for you on the performance you give in his bedroom, then it’s not his heart that has feelings for you, it’s his penis

  1. You deserve to be more than just a booty call. First things first — you need to realize that you’re worthy of true love. If he only shows interest when he’s horny, then he’s only interested in one thing: sex. You’re not his girlfriend, you’re his hookup buddy. If you ever want to be more than booty call, find a guy whose feelings are real, even when you’re not in the mood.
  2. Some guys separate sex and emotions. But if you don’t, then this relationship isn’t enough for you. Some women can get by just fine with meaningless sex, but you don’t have to feel pressured to be one of them. It’s OK for sex to mean more to you, but if it does, then you have to stop hurting yourself by pretending like sex alone could ever be enough.
  3. He should fall in love with your mind, not your body. He doesn’t love you, he only loves your body. He doesn’t have feelings for you, he just loves the feeling he gets when he has sex with you. Nothing in this relationship is actually about you as a person. You’re just another sex toy he uses to get off.
  4. There’s more to a relationship than just sex. At least there should be. What you want is a boyfriend, but if your whole relationship is sex, then it’s not a relationship at all. Sex might be a big part of a relationship, but it isn’t everything. More importantly, it’s about communication, companionship, respect and love. So are you really willing to give that all up for just sex?
  5. If he sees you as just another warm body, that’s all you’ll ever be. You deserve more than that, but until you can believe that yourself, you’ll never get what you truly want. His feelings only come out when he’s horny, so it’s a pretty safe bet that feelings would come out for any other girl willing to satisfy his needs. You need a guy who thinks you’re irreplaceable, not one who’d be onto the next girl before the night is even over.
  6. He’s having his cake and eating it too. He’s getting all the benefits of having a girlfriend while still maintaining his single status. He wants you when he’s horny, but wants nothing to do with you when he’s not. You give him everything he needs and you get nothing in return. It’s a one-sided relationship, so why aren’t you doing anything to change that?
  7. You’re too smart to fall for his playboy attitude. Deep down you know he’s just using you for sex, so the real question here is why are you letting him? If you want a real relationship, then why are you settling for meaningless sex? It’s about time you stand up for yourself, because no woman deserves to be used.
  8. Actions speak louder than words. When he’s in the mood, he tells you how hot you are and how much he likes you. If he really felt that way, though, he wouldn’t make you bargain sex for his emotional expression. He’s playing off your emotions, so take what he says to get you into bed with a grain of salt, and start taking a harder look at his actions when sex is off the table.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.
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