Why Finding A Good Guy After You’ve Been Single AF Forever Is Terrifying

After spending way too much time as a single woman, finding a guy worthy of your affection can be overwhelming. You’ll obviously experience the positive emotions that go along with finding true love, but you also might find yourself scared out of your mind at times. If you’ve finally — FINALLY —found a quality guy who actually gives a sh*t about you, this is why you’ll probably be at least a little terrified:

It doesn’t seem real. You sometimes feel like you’re in one of those dreams where you finally have everything you’ve ever wanted, but then wake up and realize none of it was real. Only this time, you don’t wake up and find yourself still single AF because you’re actually living the dream. How is this possible?

You worry your questionable single-girl habits might be a deal-breaker. You’ve been on your own for so long that you’ve developed idiosyncrasies that you never imagined someone else would ever see, like the way you put a face mask on while eating your dinner in front of the TV. You’re scared your new guy will think you’re insane when you bust out your more, um, comfortable behaviors. When you finally figure it out that he doesn’t and he actually likes your quirks, it can be truly baffling.

You feel extremely vulnerable again. Leaving your single life behind to finally have a relationship with a good guy is incredibly exciting, but just as equally terrifying. For the first time in a long-ass time, you’re in a position to be hurt again. After the years and years of soul-searching and heartbreak repair you’ve done, it’s horrifying to imagine having to do that all over again.

You can’t help but feel like you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop. You don’t want to be a pessimist, but you’ve been here before with a guy and ended up being smacked in the face by disappointment. Even though you know this guy is (hopefully) different, you can’t help but wonder what dark and gloomy roadblock or ending lies ahead. It’s just what you’ve become used to.

You’re afraid of becoming too happy and too comfortable. You’re so blissfully happy with your new and amazing guy that at times, you stop and shake your head at the idea. Are you truly allowed to be this happy and at ease with a guy? Is it even possible that a human like him exists and loves you in a real way just the way you’ve always hoped for? It can be hard to keep going with the flow when you’re scared he’ll turn out like all the rest, but you have to trust the process.

You’re scared you’re going to f*ck it all up. Sometimes when something seems too good to be true, you’ll be terrified that something HAS to be looming on the horizon. You worry that your hesitation or doubt might sabotage what you have. Consider this, though: perhaps you’re just finally getting what you deserve after paying your dues with douchebag guys over the years. Eventually, you need to let yourself be happy.

You have a hard time letting go of your complete independence. You struggle with letting the new guy in your life do things for you because you feel like you’re taking advantage of him. You’re completely grateful for the guy in your life, but you can’t help but feel like you shouldn’t let him do too much — not only could you become dependent on him, but you might also lose your determination to get sh*t done on your own.

You feel ALL the feelings. The feelings you feel for the new and amazing guy in your life are realer than they’ve ever been, and it’s scary AF because you haven’t been here in a long-ass time. Not only are you vulnerable and terrified that things could go south, you’re also emotionally invested in the relationship to the point that you’re not sure how you’d handle a falling out. Being single wasn’t always fun, but at least it was comfortable. Now you have to get used to dealing with all the emotions that come with falling for someone new.

You’re terrified of losing him. The thought of losing this amazing human who has treated you so well is heartbreaking. You’ll do almost anything to keep this good vibe going forever, but you can’t always stay optimistic about it. Having a good guy after you’ve been single AF for what seems like eternity is a scary experience for everyone. All you can do is take it one day at a time and remind yourself that you’ve waited a long time for something like this. It might not work out forever, but for now, you need to let yourself enjoy it instead of wondering what might happen down the road.

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