10 Signs You’re His Side Dish, Not The Main Course

He’s perfected his lies and, because you see the best in people (particularly the guys you’re dating), you believe everything he says, including the fact that you’re totally in an exclusive relationship. The problem is, if you notice any of these signs, that’s probably not the case at all.

HE ONLY CALLS YOU AT SPECIFIC TIMES. He can’t call you too late in the evening or early in the morning because he’s already preoccupied. In the morning, he’s at work handling his business. In the evening, he “needs to get his rest,” which is code for being with someone else. Usually, he always contacts you at a predetermined time and he doesn’t just get in touch out of the blue. He lets you know ahead of time when he’s going to call/text so that you can make sure you’re available. You don’t get the “I was just thinking about you” phone calls from this guy.

HE NEVER INVITES YOU TO HIS HOUSE. He’s always over your house if you’re not going out on a date. This guy takes “Netflix and chill” to another level. If he decides he wants to cook for you, he’ll do it at your house. If he wants to watch a movie, he’ll do it at your house. He can’t invite you over to where he lives because he either has someone else living there or he simply doesn’t want you discovering his other women if one of them stop by while you’re over there. He can’t take that chance and risk being caught.

HE CAN ONLY TAKE YOU OUT ON SPECIFIC DAYS AND TIMES. He can’t surprise you with a random date or stop past your house to whisk you away for a weekend trip. Everything has to be preapproved and pre-planned by him and him alone. He’ll set everything up and then just expect you to participate in whatever he’s planned. He only goes out with you on certain days and at certain times because he already has appointments with other women. It’s bad news.

IF YOU GO OUT, IT CAN’T BE LOCAL. It’s not that he’s embarrassed by you—he just can’t risk being seen by one of his other women. Because of this, he won’t take you to the local movie theater that’s right by his house. Instead, he’ll take you to one that’s a few more miles away in hopes that he wouldn’t run into anyone. If he takes you out to eat, it won’t be to a local restaurant that’s in the area; you’ll take a bit of a drive to go to an out of the way, hole-in-the-wall place just so that you two can be alone.

YOU HAVEN’T MET HIS FRIENDS At ALL OR You’ve only met certain ones. Every group of male friends consists of a few that actually have morals and respect for women. Those friends are mixed in with a few men who haven’t grown up and they think everything is a game. Also, those friends support any type of philandering behavior that their friends are participating in. Therefore, if you’ve met some of his friends, they were probably the ones that meet all of your guy’s women and they adhere to the strict guy code not to tell on him. If you haven’t met any of his friends, then know that he must have a good group of friends and because of that, he doesn’t want them to know about you.

YOU HAVEN’T MET HIS FAMILY. You’re not going to meet his family because he doesn’t want them to know about you, plain and simple. He may already have the main girl that he brings around to family events so he can’t invite you as well because everyone would know something shady was going on and he wouldn’t be able to keep you a secret for long. Inviting you around his family would also increase his chances of being discovered as a cheater because someone would slip up and call you the wrong name or ask what happened to the other girl he brought around previously.

HE ANSWERS HIS PHONE AND GOES INTO ANOTHER ROOM. He doesn’t want you to know who he’s talking or texting with on his phone. If he didn’t care, he would stay in the room with you and continue his conversation. Unless he’s planning a surprise part for your birthday or something, there’s literally no reason for him to leave the room to talk to anyone. You can also tell something isn’t right if he’s constantly texting someone and smiling at his phone and when you enter the room, his smile fades away and he locks his phone and puts it away instantly. If he does that, your Spidey senses should be tingling.

HE HAS MORE THAN ONE PHONE. Now, this guy is extremely sophisticated because he has his organized deception down to a science. He doesn’t mind giving you his phone password because there’s no incriminating evidence on that one. There’s evidence on his other phones, but those are well hidden and you don’t know about them (or he thinks you don’t, anyway). He has different phones for different women and likes to keep them all separate so that no one’s the wiser.

HE REFUSES TO ACCEPT YOU AS A FRIEND ON SOCIAL MEDIA. Years ago, when people dated, there was no such thing as social media. If you wanted to connect with people, you’d write a letter, call a friend on the landline, or reach out to some of their friends or family to see what was going on. Nowadays, everyone is connected to one another via social media and you’re no different. You want to be connected with your guy so that the world knows you’re together. That’s not what he wants. You try to tag him in photos and he deletes the tag. You send him a friend request and he declines it or lets it stay as “pending” so that you can’t send another one. Either way, he doesn’t want to be your friend online because he doesn’t want everyone to know that you’re together. It’s nothing personal. His other women are on social media as well and he doesn’t want any of you to find out about one another.

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