How Ghosting Actually Helps Dating

How Ghosting Actually Helps Dating ©iStock/mauro_grigollo

At this point, it’s pretty obvious that ghosting is here to stay, probably forever. While we wish guys would have the guts to tell us how they feel (or at least just that they don’t want to date us), there’s actually another way of looking at it. In fact, ghosting actually is a huge help to our dating lives — here’s why:

  1. We get a clear answer. We think that a guy should text that he doesn’t want to see us again, but why should he? When he ghosts, he tells us exactly that, just in zero words. We should be grateful and learn to accept that. We also give someone else a super obvious answer, too, since when we ignore jerks after bad dates, they tend to get the message and leave us alone.
  2. We can separate who cares from who doesn’t. Obviously a guy who sees a future with us would never dream of ghosting. Sometimes even the small fact that he sends us a post-date text proves that we at least have some hope.
  3. It’s a huge relief. When we have the worst date of your life (and that’s saying something when our single life seems to be a never-ending crappy date loop), we wish that we’d get ghosted. It makes things a million times easier than having to decide what to do when the guy wants to see us again and the thought makes us cringe.
  4. It’s actually polite. Yes, really. Would we rather get a text that he thinks we’re stuck-up or that he’s too afraid to leave his single bro life behind? Probably not. We should be super happy that we never have to hear what our bad dates actually think of us.
  5. It’s a stupid thing to get upset about. There are so many other parts of modern dating that we can get pissed off about. Like crappy texters and almost relationships. Let’s not waste our precious time and energy on ghosting. It’s just not worth it.
  6. It helps when you can’t even. We’ve all been there — super uncomfortable and unsure what to do to get out of a bad dating situation. When we get ghosted or we’re the ones ignoring the incoming text messages, we can move on and not deal with it.
  7. It proves this guy’s not for us. It’s OK to get ghosted after date number one, but if it’s been a few weeks or even months, getting ghosted by a guy is super crappy. It proves he’s a total loser and not the right one for you.
  8. We get closure. We like to think there’s zero closure in the almost relationship world, but these types of things often end with one person doing the ghosting. It may not be the best approach, and it may not be pretty, but it’s a way of realizing that you have to say goodbye and find someone new. Hopefully when you do, your ghosting days are way over.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.
close-link
close-link
close-link
close-link