Throughout my dating life, I’ve been called one word time and time again: “crazy.” Whenever things turned sour with a guy I was dating, I was dubbed the insane ex or the unhinged chick who just can’t let go. Well, I’m calling BS on that right about now. I am sick to death of the double standards when it comes to dating. Guys have to stop calling us crazy once and for all — here’s why:
- Being ‘crazy’ is not an inherently feminine trait. It’s such a rarity that a man is the crazy ex in question. When a guy is needy or can’t let go, it’s because he’s a hopeless romantic. He’s ‘in love’ or ‘passionate’ when he calls at 3am to ask for you back. If a girl does that… well, it’s time to get out the straight jacket. Can we just cut the ridiculous double standards here?
- Men play mind games all the freakin’ time. I’m by no means an expert on guys, but I’ve dated my fair share of jerks — enough to know that a lot of them love nothing more than playing mind games. It’s a power trip for them. They’re enamored by the idea that someone wants them and needs them and they’ll do anything to hold onto that control. Their games can be cruel AF but we’re just expected to put up with them.
- Guys can literally drive us crazy… I’ve been here so many times before, and I hope I never am again. When I’m truly into a guy, he can push my buttons more easily than most. Perhaps guys do this without realizing it but they can really damage the girls they date. In the past, guys have messed me around so much that I just couldn’t take it anymore.
- … And then they have the nerve to complain when we snap. I’ve snapped so many times in the past. I’ve just got sick of the mind games, the booty calls, and the lines. It’s BS. It hurts. When I snap, I snap hard. Yes, I’ve shouted, screamed, and downed bottles of wine. Yes, I’ve said things I just don’t mean. But if I did all these things, it’s because I was freakin’ pushed.
- Come on, guys, it’s a low blow. What annoys me so damn much about men calling us crazy is the fact that it’s a low blow. It’s all-too-easy for a guy to dub us insane to his pals; they’ll back him up and agree in an instant. The problem isn’t even with that one guy in this scenario, it’s with society. We live in a world where women are crazy and men are victims of that. It’s not true and it’s screwed up.
- Guys say it to avoid facing their own guilt. I honestly have this theory that guys use the whole crazy mantra as a way of avoiding the truth. So, they mess a girl around, make her fall for them, and then *poof*, they leave. That in itself is just plain harsh. But, to avoid any sense of guilt on their part, they label the woman, blame it all on her, and move the eff on.
- Some guys are downright ignorant. We women don’t just act insane for no damn reason. There are guys out there who are seriously ignorant. They don’t care who kind of emotional pain they put us through. To them, it’s all part of the dating game. Calling us crazy is just their way of saying game over.
- They don’t tell us when we’re just a hookup. We’ve all been there, right? I know, I have. I’ve dated the guy who pretends you’re more than just f*ck buddies. The guy who texts you loving things and talks about a distant future with you. The same damn guy who changes his mind a day or two later and never calls again. Surprise! I was just a hookup. Um, and I’m the crazy one in this scenario?
- At best, we ladies are emotional. Having real, genuine emotions and being crazy are in no way the same thing. Men will try to claim that they are, but they’re talking crap. There’s nothing wrong with acting hurt and sad after a guy messes with your head. If I choose to let my emotions out, a loser guy has no right to try to invalidate them by questioning my mental health.
- Guys have to stop using this label. Using crazy or mad in this way is not only upsetting to us ladies — it’s seriously dangerous territory. It’s a way of undermining women and making them feel like their feelings and emotions are not rational. It’s a cheap trick and it has to stop.
