When I was in fifth grade, I hopped off the school bus and proudly announced to my mom that I had my first boyfriend. I guess I skipped the whole “boys have cooties” phase. Since I was young, I’ve relished the feeling of watching a crush turn into something more. I’ve enjoyed this feeling so much, in fact, it’s caused me to fall for a few people I probably shouldn’t have.
- I should know better now that I’m older. I’ve always believed most people are inherently good. I realize being a good person doesn’t immediately qualify anyone to be relationship material. I guess I just have the tendency to see my crushes through rose-colored glasses. I assume a guy is nice from the get-go, but life experience has taught me that I probably shouldn’t! Despite that, my heart always seems to wipe the slate clean with every new guy I pursue.
- I’ve tried to change but it’s just not that simple. Although I’ve made an effort to be more cautious with my heart, it’s hard to keep from jumping into relationships head-first. I know when I’m into someone, and it’s hard for me to pump the brakes when all I want to do is speed ahead.
- I’m a bit of a hopeless romantic. I love to love — it’s as simple as that. I’ve always believed true love exists, and I’m on a quest to find it. For that reason, I may have jumped the gun on a few relationships in the past… but I have a lot of hope for the future.
- It doesn’t matter how many times my friends warn me. My friends have poked fun at me on more than one occasion about my tendency to relationship-hop. I know they do it because they care, and when they tell me to be careful, I really do try to listen. There are instances in which I wish I had taken them more seriously, especially when I was trying my best to make it work with a guy that was so clearly not for me.
- I’ve never been very good at being single. I’m independent in many ways and I’m proud of that fact, but I have to admit that I’ve never been great at being on my own. I like the comfort that comes with having one person you can lean on at all times. The loneliness I feel in between relationships is often the one thing that propels me into my next potential crush. I’m not totally proud of that fact, but I know I’m not the only person who does it!
- I never seem to learn my lesson. Opening up to another person too soon has burned me in the past. I try to keep personal details to myself in the beginning, but there’s just something freeing about spilling your guts to someone you like. If I lay everything on the line in the beginning and he still accepts me for who I am, that’s the kind of guy I want to move forward with. It sounds simple enough but it never is. Oftentimes opening up too quickly leads to too much pressure and the inevitable rejection.
- I’m not hurting anyone but myself. Right now, you might be relating to every word I say or you may be reading this thinking to yourself, what the hell is wrong with this girl? Either way, my actions are just that — mine. I’m not hurting anyone but myself by falling too hard or too quickly with the men I like.
- What if I’m too careful and I push the perfect guy away? Like most people, my brain and heart tend to go to war with one another every so often. Logically, I know taking things slow is probably best for me. My heart has other plans, however. What if I wait too long to tell someone how I feel and I lose them for good?
- Putting myself out there is risky, but it’s worth it. What’s love without a little risk? Love is inherently risky in so many ways. I don’t want to fall slowly for someone; I want to feel the rush that comes with new love and I want to enjoy it. If it doesn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to be.
- The heart wants what it wants. I make dozens of boring, rational decisions every day of my life. I decide which workout DVD I’m going to pop in that day, I decide which meal I need to defrost for tonight’s dinner, I pay my bills. When it comes to relationships, sometimes I just need to let my heart take the reins. I’ve been hurt plenty of times, but I’ve also experienced beautiful moments that I cherish. Falling hard and fast for guys isn’t one of my best qualities and sometimes I really do hate myself for it. But, in the moments I’m falling, I don’t think about it too much — I just enjoy the ride.
