After seeing this dude—who, for the record, seemed totally nice and normal—for about two weeks, he was anxious to make things official. I was flattered but hesitant and insisted we date a little while longer before we threw labels into the mix. Fast forward to two weeks later and I was getting fairly smitten, enough so that I finally gave into his insisting and agreed to be an official couple. Three days later, he had the nerve to break things off. WTF happened?
- He was the one who initially brought up being boyfriend and girlfriend. I was seeing other guys when we started dating and he knew that. When he brought up being exclusive, I admittedly wasn’t ready to choose just one guy—I was having a good time, so why give up the fun for someone I’ve known for two weeks?
- I’ve wondered if he pursued me so hard because he knew there were other guys on the scene. It’s hard not to imagine a scenario like this: he was attracted to me, interested in sleeping with me, and upon hearing he had competition, he wanted to “lock me down.” He was definitely the competitive type with an undeservingly swollen ego and I can’t help but be slightly convinced that his insistence was because he wanted to “win.” Ugh.
- He really seemed to understand when I initially said no. When he first asked me to be official and I said I wanted to wait, he pulled a pretty convincing “nice guy” act. He was respectful of my decision and made the effort to spend as much time with me as possible even after a mild rejection. This seemed to be a strong indication that he really was a decent guy—”seemed” being the keyword there.
- When it was official, he was anxious to put it on Facebook. The only thing that seems more genuine than pushing to be in a relationship is pushing to be in a relationship that’s Facebook official. Seriously, what kind of person sets up the groundwork for a relationship, excitedly puts it on Facebook, and then burns it to the ground? Oh, right, a sociopath, that’s who.
- On the other hand, I didn’t put the relationship on Facebook. I don’t know if it was something in my gut or what, but I didn’t feel the need to post our relationship status online like he did. Looking back at it now, it seems like the change of status was just for me. I think he was trying hard to convince me (or maybe even to convince himself) that he was in it for the long haul when he clearly knew we had an expiration date. Either way, it seems pretty clear now that his overly enthusiastic reaction was a front—he was just doing what he thought I wanted.
- We waited to have sex until after things became official. Ah, the douchebag kill shot. We didn’t have sex until after we were official, after which he suddenly had a change of heart. I probably don’t have to put these pieces together for you, right? He put a lot of time and effort into courting me, finally convincing me to choose him over the other guys I was seeing… just to get me in bed. It’s so cliche, I could gag. He clearly missed the memo that we as a society are moving past such toxic dating behaviors and entering an age of having a conscience.
- He tried to turn it around on me. The end of the short and not-so-sweet relationship came three days after we made things official. Yep, three days. We’d made plans to hang out all three days, something we both agreed on because I assumed we were basking in the new relationship glow together, and he had the nerve to use that against me. About 72 hours after he hurriedly changed his relationship status on Facebook, I was told things were “going too fast” and that I was “getting too attached.” Anyone else want to punch a wall?
- Despite that, we tried to make it work for a few days. Infuriatingly enough, we agreed to give it a try. I’m not sure what encouraged me to go along with this idea when he had such a startling change of heart after just a few days. In my defense, I think it was difficult for me to process that someone could be so manipulative after showing such genuine interest.
- Just a few days into “trying,” he officially ended it. Sticking to his “you’ve gotten too attached” alibi, the jerk finally put the kibosh on our fraudulent relationship. More than anything, I was frustrated that I allowed this juvenile dude to convince me into wasting my time with him. When we started seeing each other, I was having a great time playing the field with other guys (who, frankly, would have probably been more impressive in bed) and I let his “enthusiasm” convince me that it was worth a shot, even though my gut said no.
- Bottom line: listen to your gut, not a shady guy who’s trying too hard. When it comes down to it, you know better than the douchebag dudes of the world, so don’t forget it. I know I never will.
