There’s a clear difference between a guy who just has less experience with dating and therefore doesn’t really understand the basics and a guy who’s just plain lazy AF. If you’re dating one who just seems to not give a sh*t about making you feel special and cared for the way you do of him, don’t waste any more of your energy. If he can’t date you properly, don’t date him at all.
“Hanging out” isn’t a date. It’s high time that we abolished this bullsh*t and stopped accepting “hanging out” as a feasible date. Sitting on his couch and watching Netflix while he orders some sub-par take out food isn’t really a date — it’s just your typical single AF Friday night. If he can’t take you out in public and put real thought into doing something that requires actual effort, like making a dinner reservation and changing out of his worn out sweatpants, do yourself a favor and stay on your own couch with your own Netflix. You don’t need a guy to do the things you’re already doing. He should be trying to make things more interesting.
Coming over last minute and late at night isn’t romantic. As cute as it might seem that he’s thinking about you at 1 a.m. on a Saturday night after he’s left the bar with his buddies and wants to see you last minute, it’s not cute at all. You’re not a late night option and you’re certainly not a 24-hour drive-thru pick-up window. Let his call hit your voicemail and never return the message. You can do better.
You shouldn’t be waiting days for a reply. The so-called “busy” excuse that so many guys feed women is total bullsh*t. If a guy wants to see you, talk to you and check in with you to see how your day is going, he’ll find the time no matter what the case may be if he’s truly into you. If you find yourself waiting days for a reply or weeks for him to even mention getting together again because he’s “so busy,” keep your options open and don’t wait around for Mr. Busy to figure his sh*t out. If he can’t step up to the occasion, neither should you. If he snoozes, he loses.
If sex is his main agenda, tell him boy, bye. It’s getting nauseating the way some guys push sex as the main priority of spending time with you so if you’re dating a guy who’s pushy in the physicality department and you’re looking for something more meaningful, stop giving him the time of day. Save your energy for someone who wants to actually get to know you completely, and not just who you are in the bedroom.
You deserve to be appreciated. Dating is really tough and it’s not going to get easier anytime soon, so it’s up to you to weed out the a**holes, the weak and the lazy ass guys before you get caught up in another sh*tstorm. As hard as it might seem at times, you do deserve to have someone who actually treats you with complete kindness and respect and is excited about dating you in a real way, so keep working towards that by dodging the a**hole bullets as quickly as you can.
The right guy will make you feel excited every day. When you meet the guy who truly knows how to date you properly, he’ll make you feel excited for each and every day you get to spend with him and you shouldn’t accept anything less. Life is short and real love is totally worth waiting for. You don’t need to bide your time with mediocre bozos who are only out to satisfy their own agenda by lifting as few fingers as possible to get there.
How he dates you is how he will love you — pay attention. The way a guy dates you in the beginning sets the tone for how he will treat you for years to come. If he can’t make the effort to communicate with you thoughtfully or plan real date-like activities for you to do together, chances are he won’t be raising the bar anytime soon. You get what you allow out of love, so if he’s not making things feel even remotely romantic, he’s probably not looking for anything serious and he’s probably not the right guy for you. Tread carefully.
If he ignores your concerns, he’s not worth your time. Some guys won’t even take the time to hear you out respectfully when you tell them what you want and expect out of any relationship you get into, but it’s not your job to teach him how to do something that should be common sense. If he doesn’t even try to turn things around after you’ve told him straight up that you’d like to go on real and proper dates or hear from him more often, stop wasting your breath — it’s falling on deaf ears.
You have better sh*t to do than to date someone who’s lazy. There are much better things you could be doing with your time than dating a guy that can’t seem to figure it out and doesn’t seem to want to try. You don’t need to “hang out” with someone who isn’t making you feel special. You don’t need to pick up a late night phone call just to get face time in with someone you’re supposed to be dating and you don’t need to stick around and accept less than you want. Sometimes you have to accept some guys at face value —they’re simply not the right one for you. You deserve someone who actually makes a real effort so if he’s not dating you properly, don’t date him at all.
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