You didn’t believe it would ever happen, but now that you’ve gotten older, you have different priorities and value different things. It’s weird, but it happens to everyone. Here are some of the things you start to require in a man as you become older and wiser:
Dependability When you were younger, this seemed boring as all hell. You craved adventure and spontaneity. You didn’t care if your partner was dependable; you just wanted him to be fun and cute and affectionate. Now that you’re a little older, you realize just how important dependability can be in a relationship. You need someone you can count on when times get tough.
Stability Gross, right? Not so much anymore. A few years ago, you barely cared if a guy had a job or not. Now you want someone with a career, a retirement plan, and a 401k. Nothing sounds sexier to you in your thirties than a savings account. You’re tired of irresponsible, childish men.
Consistency Once upon a time, you wanted unpredictability. You loved a guy who would surprise you and keep you on your toes. Now you’re more mature, and you have responsibilities. You don’t have the energy to deal with a dude who doesn’t keep his word or show up on time. You need a man who doesn’t surprise you in an unwelcome manner.
Ambition You care about this now because you’re driven and focused, and you want a man who’s the same. This wasn’t a priority when you were younger because it didn’t matter at the time; everyone was figuring out who they were in their twenties, including you. You might’ve even found it totally unattractive. Now you see it as a requirement for any dude you consider dating.
Commitment to family In your younger years, you weren’t that concerned with family matters. You didn’t keep in great touch with your own — maybe you even avoided them. When you got older, you started understanding the fragility of human life. You now appreciate your relatives because you know they won’t be around forever. You have to have a man who knows that family comes first.
Homebody tendencies When you were in your twenties, you found this terribly dull. You wanted to go out and have fun, dammit! Now you understand those lame older people who you judged for staying home on their couches watching TV. You’re right there along with them in your jammies with a blanket over you, happy as can be. You need a man who’s cool with staying in and cuddling instead of partying.
Emotional accessibility In your youth, you thought feelings were kinda gross. Who wants to talk about feelings? You didn’t need that because you weren’t trying to get in too deep. Now you want something real — emotional intimacy with a partner who understands you and loves you for who you are. He has to be vulnerable with you or you can’t get to that level.
Compassion Maybe a compassionate guy once seemed weak or mushy to you. You didn’t understand the strength that true kindness requires. Now you not only appreciate it, but also need it in a partner. You’ve developed more compassion of your own with age, and you know that you can’t be with anyone who doesn’t display kindness towards others.
Patience It wasn’t a requirement when you were young — it may have actually annoyed you because you were impatient yourself. You saw patience as condescending and patronizing. You thought you were judged for not having that same quality. You’ve gained it with age, and you see its supreme value in others as well. You want a man who can deal with you and life’s obstacles with patience and fortitude.
Willingness to compromise Things weren’t so serious in your twenties. You never really had to compromise. You thought there was someone out there who was your perfect match, and neither of you would ever have to settle at all. But then you got older and wiser and realized love is the willingness to compromise for another person, not the lack of any compromise.
Attentiveness You probably mistook it for being clingy when you were younger. You wanted your space, and you wanted him to leave you alone already. Then you realized that most guys won’t give you the care you deserve and you started craving a mature, affection man. You now know the value of a man who doesn’t smother you, but listens, pays attention, and shows you that he cares.
Lack of drama Drama was exciting in your teens and twenties. It made you feel alive, like a relationship was truly passionate. Then you got older and realized that’s all a load of crap. Drama is the death of a relationship, not its driving force. It steals all your time and energy. You and your man will never survive if he thrives on that mess. You finally get it.
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