When you meet an amazing guy and really hit it off, you want to believe that he’s being truthful about the things he’s telling you and the person he presents himself to be. However, there’s always a chance that there’s something (or many things) he’s concealing. If you’re struggling to figure out if he’s not as honest as he seems, here’s how to tell if he’s lying to you.
- His story has changed several times. One key indicator of a liar is that his story doesn’t stay consistent. The worse the lie, the more complicated the story. This could be a calculated move to keep you from what’s going on, or it could be that he’s lost in his lie. Slyly ask him again about a detail he mentioned and see if he stumbles over the explanation.
- He doesn’t make eye contact. This one only works if he usually does make eye contact. Some guys are bad about this whether they’re telling the truth or not, so make sure you know his usual style. If his body language gets weird, it could be an indicator he is lying — especially if it doesn’t match the words coming out of his mouth.
- He’s blinking a lot and his pupils are dilated. According to Psychology Today, these can be indicators of deception. Again, if he normally blinks a lot, this might not be a good indicator on its own, but if he seems to be more doing it more than usual, perhaps his explanations are worth a second look.
- He’ll only talk about an issue via text, email, or the phone. If he knows he isn’t a good liar and his face or body will give him away, then he may resort to only discussing the issue in question over the phone or, even better for him, via email or text. Of course, if he does email or text, you’ll have proof of his web of lies.
- He avoids the topic completely and becomes evasive. If he totally avoids the topic and says he doesn’t want to talk about it further then there is a good chance he is lying. He could also just be over the conversation, but evading the topic completely could mean he is hiding something from you.
- “You’re nuts.” This phrase following an accusation should make you very, very nervous. If he hasn’t done anything, he’ll probably be hurt that you’re accusing him, but he shouldn’t lash out and get angry (unless you’ve berated him about this same issue many, many times). You’re not nuts, you’re concerned.
- He becomes really controlling. When men have something to hide, they can get very controlling in an effort to keep you away from the outside world and anyone who might know his secret. If he wants you to stop seeing certain people all of a sudden or to keep you from going certain places, he might be lying to you or hiding something serious.
- He tells really elaborate stories that you can’t verify. This is probably most prevalent early in relationships but can occur later in life, too (hello, Breaking Bad). If he starts oversharing and making stories much more complicated than they need to be, he might be trying to paint a pretty picture full of lies so you don’t see the less beautiful truth. Gently try to poke holes in his story.
- He suddenly wants to take the relationship to the next level. If you guys were kind of on the fence and going nowhere fast and he randomly tries to catapult your relationship to the next step, he might be trying to draw you in closer so that the truth doesn’t seem real to you if you find out. If he puts a ring on your finger, he may think you’ll stay with him no matter what.
- He starts to blame you for everything he does wrong. Liars love to make someone else the scapegoat so that they can avoid taking the blame for their actions. If he tries to make things your fault, he may be gearing up to blame his lies and bad behavior on you, too.
