It’s always a big deal when your boyfriend tells you that he loves you for the first time. But if his actions don’t back up his words, that statement is completely empty. Before accepting that your partner really loves you, make sure these things don’t apply to him:
- He avoids asking about your life. Sure, you guys have been together for a while. But does he really know who you are? If a majority of his time is spent talking about himself, he probably doesn’t. Does he know what you’re passionate about? Does he know what your favorite color is? No? Probably because he’s never asked. He doesn’t care about who you are because he’s not really in love with you.
- He asks you to change your appearance. He probably doesn’t straight-up ask you to change how you look, but he drops little hints here and there. Maybe he’ll make comments about your clothes or your makeup. He might even say, “Have you ever thought about growing your hair out?” It could just be a suggestion, but he could be trying to mold you into his dream woman. But if he were truly in love with you, you would already be the girl of his dreams.
- He lies. Maybe he doesn’t fib all the time (at least as far as you know). But you’ve caught him in more than a few BIG lies. He lied about where he went, who he went there with, and why he didn’t invite you to come along. Suspicious AF. Of all people, your boyfriend should be someone you can trust. If he’s not being honest, you have to wonder why.
- He ignores you. There’s no reason he shouldn’t be answering your texts. I get it, he’s busy sometimes. But not all the time. If he has time to spend playing video games and browsing through Instagram, he has time to reply to your messages.
- He doesn’t make plans. If you’re always stuck making the plans, it’s not because he thinks you’re a natural-born leader — it’s because he doesn’t care enough to make plans to see you. He puts little to no effort into your relationship, and on the off-chance that he does ask you to hang out, it’s an afterthought. You deserve someone who cares enough about you to make it a priority to see you.
- He doesn’t ask your opinion. If your boyfriend really loved you, he’d want your opinion on things. If he’s never asked you for advice, it’s probably because he doesn’t really trust what you have to say. He’d rather ask his family, friends, or maybe even another girl. How could he really love you if he doesn’t even care about what you think?
- He makes fun of you. You can take a joke. But sometimes when he puts you down, it doesn’t feel like he’s joking. He makes comments about things he knows you’re insecure about. He might “jokingly” call you “needy” or “dramatic.” There are times when he really makes you feel bad about yourself. There’s a difference between being a jokester and being a jerk, and if he acts like this, he’s probably the latter.
- He doesn’t advertise your relationship. Do his friends and family know about you? If not, you probably need to ask yourself some deeper questions. If your partner loves you, he should want to shout it from the rooftops. But if he’s not that type, at least the people closest to him should know how he feels about you.
- He cheats on you. Everyone makes mistakes, but cheating is a BIG mistake. It’s understandable if he messes up once and you forgive him, but if he’s repeatedly cheated on you, he’s probably not too concerned with your happiness. A man who truly loves you will do everything in his power not to hurt you.
- He doesn’t want to meet your parents. Meeting your partner’s family can be scary. But if a guy really loved you, he’d bite the bullet and do it. If your relationship is getting serious and he still refuses to meet your family no matter how many times you’ve asked, there’s a reason. It’s not because he’s shy — it’s because he’s not fully committed.
- He isn’t there when you need him. A man who only wants to be around when you’re happy isn’t really in love with you. He should be there for you both when things are good and when you need him to help you through something rough. If he’s not, you need to let him go and find someone who ACTUALLY gives a crap about you.
