I’ll Never Change For A Guy, But I’ll Grow With One

I’ll Never Change For A Guy, But I’ll Grow With One

I love myself the way I am. I’ll never sacrifice who I am for anyone, but that doesn’t mean I’m not willing to grow. I’m not naïve; I know I’m not perfect. I’m a work in progress and I get better every single day. I want a guy who encourages and motivates me to be better and vice versa. I won’t change for him, but I’ll grow with him — and isn’t that the best kind of relationship?

  1. I’ll never be perfect, but I don’t need to be. It’s a fact we all have to accept. I’m not perfect and I’m not going to try to be. That’s not my goal here. I want to grow as a human being but I’m not aiming for perfection. If a guy wants a perfect girl then he’s just not living in reality. I don’t want to be perfect, I just want to grow into the couple we’re meant to be.
  2. If love is worth it, it won’t require me to compromise who I am. Changing myself for a guy would imply that there’s something wrong with the person I am now, and that’s just not the case. Sure, I have my imperfections. I’ll keep trying to work through my flaws every day, but I won’t give up who I am. I won’t change myself or my beliefs for a relationship and I don’t want a man who expects that of me. I certainly would never expect it of him.
  3. I expect growth from him too. If the relationship is going to last, we should be growing together as a couple. I’m willing to work on myself only if the man I’m with is willing to do the same. I’ll love him for exactly the person he is, but I won’t accept a man who believes he’s perfect. I don’t want to change him, but I want us to work together to be the best versions of ourselves.
  4. I’ll never stop trying to be the best that I can be. Isn’t that what we all as human beings should be striving for, to be the absolute best versions of ourselves? I want a man who brings that out in me. I don’t want to change the fundamental parts of myself, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be better, and I won’t stop trying to be.
  5. I actually love myself. That’s why I won’t let a man change or define me. I’m a great girl and I’m worthy of a great guy. I deserve more than a man who wants to mold me into the girl he wants me to be. I refuse to even try to be the ideal woman, whatever that even means, because the only person I can be is me.
  6. I believe in growth. People might not be able to change, but they can grow. I love myself the way I am now, but I could love who I am tomorrow even more. I make mistakes, but I’m not going to let them define me. I won’t forget them. I’ll grow because I’m learning from them every day.
  7. I’m always willing to compromise. I can be stubborn as hell, but at the end of the day, it’s his life too. We’re sharing a life together. My wants and needs are just as important as his are. I want us both to be happy. So when I’m leaning one way and he’s leaning another, we should meet in the center. Isn’t that the way it should be?
  8. There’s always room for improvement. Wouldn’t that be an amazing world if we all tried to be better people every day? That’s what I want from my partner. To love me today and inspire me to be better tomorrow. I don’t want to stand still. I want to move forward. I want to grow together and be better every single day.
  9. Relationships take work. I’m willing to do that work for the right guy. I know that no man will ever be perfect. Perfection isn’t what I’m looking for. We’re going to disagree, argue, and outright fight with each other but at the end of the day, I’m willing to work for solutions to those problems. I won’t change for a man, but we can grow together and we should. I’ll do whatever it takes to make my relationship with Mr. Right work because I know he’ll do the same.
  10. I want a man who loves me for me. I don’t want a man to look at me like something broken he can fix. I don’t want to be a guy’s rough draft that he’s trying his best to make a masterpiece. I want a man who loves me for exactly the girl I am today. I might want to keep growing, but I’m not interested in a man who wants to change me.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.
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