I’m Not Holding Out For A Fairytale — I’m Just Trying To Find A Decent Guy

Once upon a time, I held out for Prince Charming: a fictitious, perfect guy who could do no wrong and would make my dreams come true. After kissing more than my fair share of frogs, I realized that I don’t want a fairy tale guy OR the perfect relationship. I just want a decent guy who will treat me right by doing these 10 things:

He’s Ambitious And Pursues Goals. To me, success is measured on how hard you work towards goals you’ve set for yourself. Academic, career, or personal — if a guy is striving for something, he’s showing people that he’s passionate about what he wants. I don’t need him to be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company; I just need him to be motivated.

He’s Honest, even when it’s easier to lie. Nobody likes a liar. Period. It’s always better to come clean, especially if you’ve screwed up. Telling the truth in a relationship is a must-have for me, so I obviously need the same from my partner. If we can talk things out and find common ground before it’s too late, then we just might be able to fix it before it gets too out of hand.

He’s Romantic (Every So Often). I love casual dates. There’s nothing more comforting than a date night at home with takeout and Netflix, but I need a guy to put some effort in sometimes to show me that he cares. Swap out the pizza with a candlelight dinner, beer for wine, and a movie at home with a late evening stroll from time to time, and I’ll be a happy woman.

He Doesn’t Play Games. It’s okay to get nervous when discussing your relationship, especially if things are getting serious. I need a guy who will talk his thoughts out with me instead of letting his fear get the best of him. If he’s having second thoughts, he needs to be straight up about it — not avoid me, argue with me, or completely ghost on me.

He Takes Care Of Himself. We all know that being an adult is a pain in the ass sometimes. I’m not expecting a guy I’m with to have it all together (honestly, who does?) or have all the answers. I do, however, him to have most of his sh*t together. If he’s independent, confident, and centered, then it’s a good match.

He Respects My Boundaries. Unless I give a guy the green light for something, he absolutely must respect my boundaries on whatever I’m not comfortable with. Whether it’s progressing our relationship, being intimate, or meeting our respective friends and family —  if I’m not ready for it, it’s not going to happen.

He Makes Time For Us without thinking twice. Don’t get me wrong; I love (and need) alone time. It’s the only way I can recharge my batteries. Plus with life, family, friends, and everything else that requires love and attention, my schedule can get a little crazy. But I’ll always make time for that special guy in my life, and I need him to do the same for me.

He’s there for me through thick and thin. I’m not looking for a guy who gives perfect advice on everything. Most of the time, I don’t even want advice. If I’m going through a rough patch, the best way to support me is to listen and reaffirm that everything will be fine. I’d offer him the same encouragement, of course, but I can’t deal if it’s not reciprocal.

He’s Open to New Things. We don’t have to be crazy thrill-seekers. But I’m always looking to try something new, and it’s a must that the guy I’m with is open to the same. Instead of a movie, how about going to an art gallery or museum?  Let’s pass on a burger and try Shawarma instead. If he’s happy with these things, then I’ll be happy with him.

He Has A Sense of Humor. Having a sense of humor is the one trait I covet most because it can make the bleakest of situations tolerable. I love to laugh and make others laugh, and I absolutely must have someone who sees life with a glass-half-full view. If we’re both optimistic, then we’ll be able to support each other no matter what happens.

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