I’ve Been Searching For A Great Boyfriend And Now I’m Realizing That I Have To Be My Own Boyfriend

The longer I’m single, the more I wonder if maybe I should stay that way. I’m not really all that sad not having a man in my life. Once in a while I yearn for love, but most of the time I’m too busy and happy to care. Here’s how I’m a better boyfriend to myself than any guy:

  1. I know what I need. I know myself better than anyone else and I know what makes me happy. I can’t get any guy to figure out that riddle even though it seems pretty straightforward to me. Maybe I should just cut the outside interference and just focus on doing what I know keeps me fulfilled and satisfied. When I try to find a man who can do the same, I just end up frustrated.
  2. I treat myself well. I’m nice to myself, which is more than I can say for most men who’ve been in my life. I buy myself flowers. I reward myself with little presents when I’ve achieved something. More importantly, I know my worth and I know that I’m an amazing woman. The problem with dating has always been that I can’t find a partner who appreciates me the way I know I deserve.
  3. I love myself more than any guy. I find it extremely important to develop my relationship with myself, so I’ve been working on it for a long time. I used to have very low self-esteem, but I’ve put in the time and energy to learn to love who I am and what I can do. I believe in myself now, and I’ll never again settle for a man who doesn’t love me as much as I love myself.
  4. I’m my own best friend. I’ve always been comfortable on my own. I don’t mind spending time alone, even if it’s a lot of time. That’s how I recharge, regenerate and get my best ideas. I actually get crabby if I don’t have enough space. Because I love spending time with myself, I don’t really need a man around to fill that part of my life. I’m good.
  5. I indulge myself when I feel like it. I don’t wait around for some guy to do things that make me feel special. I know I’m special and I do them for my damn self. I take myself out on dates, I go get good food, I take trips and I go to shows and movies and concerts. I absolutely will not waste any more of my life waiting around for someone to do it for me or with me.
  6. I know how to pick myself up when I’m down. I’ve never met a man who understood me well enough to perk up my mood when I’m feeling like crap. I know that I need space, time and relaxation. Since I don’t have someone to cuddle or hug me, I take comfort in eating something indulgent, sitting on the couch with my cat and some tea, and watching a show I haven’t had time to see. I allow myself the rest I need from my life.
  7. I’m better at pleasing myself than most guys are. After all, I have the most experience doing it! I love sex and all, but unless it’s really great with someone I care about, I’d rather not deal with the drama that comes along with it. I can take care of myself quite well, as frequently as I want, as many times as I want, and as quickly as I want! So much less work.
  8. I like having the final say in my life. Relationships are so full of compromise. I don’t want to share my time and money and things. Sorry, but it’s the truth. I like doing exactly what I want and not worrying about how it’ll make someone else feel. I like living on my own schedule without having to meet another person halfway. It’s awesome.
  9. I enjoy controlling my own money. I work hard for my money, and I do what I like with it. I never have to feel guilty for spending it or need to dip into my savings to help out my partner. I feel accomplished to have what I do because it’s all mine and I’ve achieved it all on my own. There’s nothing quite like that. Even if I was with someone, I don’t know if I’d want to combine bank accounts.
  10. I dress for myself instead of someone else. Every time I’m dating someone, I find myself trying to be pretty for them and worrying about how I look all the time. That’s not really who I am. Usually, if I want to dress up, I dress up, and if I don’t feel like it… well then I don’t give a damn what anyone else thinks. If a man cares about me, why do I care how I look? When it’s just me, myself, and I, I don’t have that issue.
  11. I have no problem going places alone. I’ll tell you a secret—I actually prefer it! I hate conforming to someone else’s agenda. When I travel alone, I can do what I please. If I want to cram a bunch of stuff into one day, I do it. If I want to take it easy, I do it. I eat when I want and stop when I want and sleep when I want. It’s so good. Writing about it actually makes me want to take off on a solo trip right now!
  12. I can give myself pretty much everything a partner does. Aside from the actual physical companionship and presence of another human being, I’ve got it covered. Even then, I have a ton of friends who I love spending time with if I crave social time. Someday maybe I’ll find a man who fits into my life, but for now, I’m more than happy to be my own best boyfriend ever.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.
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