It’s sad but true — I don’t know why, but I find it almost impossible to truly trust guys. It isn’t just the men I date, either, though that’s my worst issue. I feel like most men can’t be trusted. I don’t even trust my dad all the time! It sucks living this way, and I don’t know what’s going on or if I’ll ever be able to fix it.
- I have no idea why I’m like this. I can’t find the root of the problem and it drives me nuts. I mean, of course, I’ve witnessed terrible behavior from guys, but I haven’t had any really awful experiences with men personally. Even in therapy, I haven’t been able to figure it out. I have mommy issues for sure, but what does that have to do with the men in my life? I know it affects my ability to function normally in relationships, but it doesn’t explain my complete lack of faith in their integrity.
- As far as I know, no one has cheated on me… Granted, there have been a couple of sketchy situations, but I have no proof of any boyfriend being unfaithful to me. I had a long-distance boyfriend when I moved to Los Angeles who ended up breaking up with me and marrying his housemate, so who knows? I’d like to think well of him, but realistically, I guess he was probably unfaithful to me. Still, I haven’t had any traumatic, dramatic scenes where I caught a guy in the act.
- … And yet, I still always believe that all guys cheat. It makes no logical sense. All I can say is that it stems partially from my own insecurities and partially from my belief that guys are always looking for something better. No matter how sweet and harmless the boyfriend, I always think that he’ll sleep with the first girl who shows him any attention. I drive myself nuts worrying and it’s really destructive.
- It doesn’t matter how wonderful guys are — I still don’t trust them. I’m pretty picky about who I date. I like nice guys — maybe because I figure they’re less likely to cheat on me! Still, I’ve had the sweetest boyfriends in the world and I still thought they were constantly looking for someone better. I’ll admit it — I attributed their wholesome ways to a lack of opportunity and social aptitude. I never believed they would pass up the chance if a girl actually threw herself at them. WTF is my problem?
- It never matters how nuts they are about me. I have to say, I’ve been ridiculously lucky. No matter what our other issues were, I’ve picked some wonderful men who really loved me. I can see that now, in hindsight. Too bad that when we were together I never trusted those emotions. I always worried that I wasn’t good enough and that they would find another girl they liked more.
- I know way too many girls who’ve been screwed over. The older I get, the more of my friends I see getting hurt by men they trusted. I’m so afraid I’ll end up in the same situation. I’m not silly enough to believe that it would never be me. None of them ever thought their boyfriends or husbands would screw them over so badly. I’ve seen enough BS behavior to be seriously over all men.
- I’ve heard guys say too many nasty things. I’ve worked in the restaurant industry for ten years. It’s a fairly casual environment and a lot of people pass through. If you knew the amount of gross conversation I’ve heard, and been a subject of, it’d make your head spin. When you hear men — married, taken, and single — talk about women like trivial sexual objects on a daily basis, it makes you very jaded. I guess that’s part of it, but it doesn’t explain my issue, really.
- I basically think a lot of guys are full of crap. What happens to most guys in relationships? They’re so great in the beginning and then so many of them stop trying. They get complacent, lazy, and entitled. They get bored, they don’t want to work on it, and they go find some shiny new girl because it’s a lot easier to start over. It’s sad and depressing, and they leave a lot of pain in their wake. Why don’t they address the problem when it starts instead of avoiding and lying and hiding?
- I’m more afraid of being hurt than being alone. The two best things about being single? I mean, besides doing whatever the hell I want all the time? I never fight with anyone and I never cry. My friends and I work on our issues maturely like adults because we’re both dedicated to our relationship. I actually really enjoy being single. So much less drama and I never have to worry that a man will cheat on me and break my heart.
- I guess I just find men to be inherently untrustworthy. Yes, that’s a harsh statement, I’m aware, but that’s how I feel. The majority of relationships I saw as a child involved people cheating on each other. Either the woman never found out her husband was unfaithful, she did find out and they decided to ignore the problem, or they got divorced. The common thread? The men never came clean on their own; they were always found out. Then I got older and saw guys cheating on their girlfriends left and right throughout the years until now. I want to think well of men. I want to trust them, I really do. I don’t know what will have to happen so that I feel differently, but I hope something changes.
