Ladies, Please Don’t Be Dumb Enough To Put Glitter In Your Vagina

First there were unicorn fraps—those bright pink drinks that sold super well at Starbucks and even made a barista go on a massive rant—and now there are unicorn vaginas. Okay, not really, but a new product called Passion Dust allows you to insert a capsule (aka a “Glitter Bomb”) into your vagina. Ladies: don’t try this at home.

It sounds super gross. Let’s just get this out of the way. Doesn’t the very idea of putting a pill into your vagina totally freak you out? There is just not getting around how creepy and disgusting this is. If you’ve ever had a yeast infection (which you probably have), you know that inserting a pill down there is part of the treatment, and that makes sense. That is something that is supposed to go there. A capsule that includes glitter? Not so much.

You are totally fine the way that you are. Why would you even want your vagina to sparkle? Because you’re self-conscious? Because you’re worried it’s not pretty enough? It’s exactly the way that it’s supposed to be. You absolutely don’t need to do anything to your vagina. At all.

You should never do something like this for a guy. You already know that it’s your body and you’re the one who makes the decisions, and this is another time when you really have to stand your ground. If your boyfriend suggests trying this, you can just laugh and change the subject. Even if he’s not joking, you can totally pretend that he is because he can’t really think that you’re going to do this.

You don’t want to put this stuff down there. Okay, so technically, the company is saying that it is FDA-approved because the ingredients are—gum arabic powder, vegetable stearate, Zea Mays starch, starch-based edible glitter, and gelatin capsules. But as many have pointed out, those are approved for consumption, not for putting down there. Do you really want different kinds of starch in your vagina?! Probably not.

Yeast infections are a thing. Part of the reason people are so against putting this glitter bomb into your vagina is that you can totally get a yeast infection from it. That’s exactly what you want to happen after having sex with your partner, right? Thought so.

There are some not-so-sparkly consequences. Yeah, you could get a yeast infection from trying out this trend. You might think that’s bad enough, but it turns out that it can get so much worse. You can find scratches on your vagina, you could get candida, and you could find that having sex with your boyfriend seriously hurts. It gets even scarier—you could develop some health conditions such as kidney, bladder and vulva infections.

You don’t need to be a follower. Even if you did buy a Unicorn frap because you wanted to see what all the fuss was about (or you wanted a pretty Instagram pic — no shame here), you don’t need to follow this trend too. There is literally no reason to give this trend a try, besides the fact that you might be curious about what would happen. The truth is that you could end up doing a lot more harm than good.

Doctors hate the idea. When doctors are saying not to do something, you probably want to listen. It turns out that those in the medical profession are really not into a glittery vagina. Wonder why. They are most concerned about the glitter ruining the balance of bacteria and PH in your vagina. Once that gets out of whack, bad things (aka yeast infection and more, as outlined above) happen. As one doctor told The Independent, “The vagina contains a delicate balance of good bacteria, which are there to protect it. If women place foreign objects inside their vagina, they risk disturbing this balance which may lead to infection, such as bacterial vaginosis or thrush, and inflammation.'” Pretty (not).

You can spice up your sex life in other ways. You’ve probably heard of things like sex toys and porn. Those are definitely a lot safer than using glitter. If you’re getting bored in the bedroom, then focus on those more traditional ideas instead of this new trend that could seriously mess things up down there.

You need to take responsibility. Once people started talking about how this product would mess up your vagina, the company, Pretty Woman Inc., put out a statement. Their website reads, “If you’ve ever had vaginal issues you had them before you used Passion Dust anyway. If you’ve ever had a yeast infection I’m sure it wasn’t caused by glitter, it just happens sometimes.” The truth is that if you try this and things go haywire, you’re to blame for that. Harsh but totally true. You have to take responsibility for what you do. You would be choosing to buy the product and use it, despite what doctors are saying. But honestly, there are so many things to worry about. Why would you care if your vagina doesn’t sparkle?!

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