I know sometimes you wonder if there really is someone out there for you and if there is, why you haven’t found him yet. It makes sense that you’re feeling frustrated, discouraged and impatient, but while you’re looking for love, don’t screw yourself over by doing any of these things:
- Doubting your own beauty/value. It’s hard as hell to find love, but you can’t let your bad experiences along the way destroy your self-esteem. Even when nobody else does, you need to believe in yourself.
- Playing mind games with players because it seems like the only way: While it may seem like playing the games is likely to help you find someone, it’s counterproductive because it draws in all the wrong guys. If you refuse to play games, you’ll attract a much higher quality guy — one who doesn’t want to play games either.
- Trying to “fix” broken project guys. Project guys are the worst; they lure you in with their sob stories and make you feel for them, then use their past hurt to justify using you. It’s not your job to fix anyone; you deserve to live your life and be loved, so steer clear of the projects and find someone who has his crap together.
- Thinking that a bad relationship is better than no relationship. Being single isn’t a tragedy, but settling for the wrong person because you’re afraid to be single is. Rolling solo is actually pretty awesome if you appreciate your freedom; just enjoy your time until you meet the right one.
- Trying to tame bad boys. You can’t help it; they’re sexy and you know it. If you’re just looking for a fun fling, go for it, but be careful. If you start having feelings, you could get hurt.
- Settling for almost relationships. Being in an almost relationship is a special kind of hell; you’re not quite sure where you stand and you’re afraid to ask. I don’t know when it became acceptable to string people along and gaslight them into thinking they don’t deserve to know where the relationship is headed — wtf? If single women stop accepting almost relationships, maybe guys will start offering more.
- Hiding your true feelings because you’re worried he’ll call you crazy. Having feelings doesn’t make you crazy, and neither does expressing your feelings. Anyone who disagrees is simply a loser and not worth your time. When you meet someone and the connection is right, you’ll be able to be honest without fearing that he’ll run away scared.
- Answering booty call texts from someone you have feelings for: I know it’s too hard to resist the urge to text back when you see his name pop up on your phone at 1am, but nothing good will come of it. If he liked you as more than a piece of ass, he would have texted earlier and suggested dinner or a walk in the park or something. Don’t be his source of on-demand booty; you deserve more than that.
- Giving one more chance when he doesn’t deserve one. Exes are exes for a reason; giving it one more shot usually doesn’t fix what went wrong in the relationship, and it has the unfortunate side effect of causing unnecessary pain and lengthening the healing process. In most cases, it’s best to leave the exes in the past where they belong.
- Not appreciating the single life enough. There are a lot of terrific things about being single. You have a ton of free time and yours is the only opinion that matters. You can flirt with anyone you want and make major life decisions completely on your own. Being coupled up is great, but the single life has a ton of benefits; don’t take it for granted because someday it’ll be gone.
