I love my boyfriend, but he could never replace my best friend. These two people are some of the most important individuals in my life, and while I couldn’t imagine where I’d be without either of them, this is why my bestie will always occupy a space in my heart that not even my boyfriend could replace:
- She understands my need to vent; he gets confused. Depending on the topic, I do have some hesitation of being completely open with my boyfriend. He does his best to try to relate to the inner-circle girl drama that I’m ranting about or why I have anxiety about his pet peeve, but it usually comes with a head nod and a passive kiss on the cheek — he tries to understand, but doesn’t really get why I’m annoyed. My best friend will sit in the trenches with me and let me sit there for as long as I need to. She understand that I sometimes need a listening ear more than I need advice, whereas my boyfriend often has trouble figuring out exactly why I’m venting.
- I know she won’t judge me; I can’t say the same for him. My best friend has been there through every broken heart I’ve experienced. In those rock bottom moments, I’ve done a few things that I am not proud of. It’s hard to tell my boyfriend every dirty detail about my life when it doesn’t exactly put me in the best light. I feel like I can tell him everything, but I also know that unlike my best friend, he might hold my past choices against me.
- I can tell her anything; I still want to keep some things a secret from him. My best friend knows it all (and has been there for most of it). My boyfriend may find out some of the less savory things from my past in time, but it will never be as easy to tell him. My BFF and I just “get” each other on a different level than my boyfriend and I do, so I’m more comfortable telling her about all the times I’ve messed up.
- She calls me out on my crap; he sugar coats things. When talking about certain subjects, I can guarantee there is one thing going through my boyfriend’s mind: “Don’t say anything that might cause an argument.” He may want to tell me I’m completely wrong or voice his opinion, but he is secretly weighing the risk of whether I am going to turn on him for it. Therefore, there might be some sugarcoating —he’ll tell me his opinion, but may not completely go in on what he thinks because it might upset me. My best friend doesn’t care if I get upset. She tells me that I’m being crazy or completely irrational whether I want to hear it or not. She lets me know when I’m being a pain in the ass or when I need to suck it up and apologize. It comes with the territory of being friends.
- She’s comfortable; he’s always changing. I feel most myself when I’m with my best friend. I don’t have to put on a front or pretend with her. We can literally just sit on the couch and do nothing, and I feel at home with her no matter where I am. With my boyfriend, I’m constantly evolving and growing (which can be a little exhausting.) Being in a relationship is about growing as a person and a trying to be the best partner possible. I am evolving in my relationship everyday and moving forward to new and exciting things with my boyfriend, but sometimes it is nice to just be still and relax with my bestie.
- She lets me make bad decisions; he’ll freak out. My best friend knows my habits in a way that my boyfriend is still learning. She knows what I want for dinner, how I want to spend my day, and what I’m thinking before I’ve even told her. Because of this, she knows that if I’m going to make some crazy choice, I’ll be able to handle the aftermath. My boyfriend is still figuring these things out about me, so I always get pushback from him when I decide to do something differently than I normally would.
- I have an unbreakable bond with her; I’m still working on my connection with him. There’s an unspoken bond between two best friends. My best friend and I can sit on FaceTime and watch our favorite show or text each other memes all day and not get tired of each other. My boyfriend and I haven’t achieved that level of comfort yet. My relationships with each of them are special in their own way, but they’re still very distinct from one another.
- She’ll always be my soulmate; he’ll always be the love of my life. There aren’t enough words to describe how much I love these two people. They’ve both stolen my heart, but in completely different ways. My best friend is my missing piece while we are apart, while my boyfriend helps me take care of the half that I have while she isn’t there. And it takes a real man to understand how important that friendship is. There will always be an unspoken bond between her and me. She’s the foundation to all my relationships. I’m able to be a better girlfriend to him because she gives me the confidence to just be myself.
