As empaths, we feel the world around us as if we’re tuned in to a higher frequency. A coworker’s subtle sigh, a partner’s shift from delight to sadness, a twinge of compassion when we see a hurting animal — feelings are often sensory-overload. Empaths, also known as highly sensitive people, are tuned into the nuances of the human experience. This makes for a wild dating experience for us and those we choose to shower in our love. Here are the ways that empaths love differently than your average person:
We’re open with our emotions. It’s nearly impossible for us to hide our feelings. We feel deeply and we wear our hearts on our sleeves. The good news is that it’s not a guessing game with us, but you have to be able to handle it all. We won’t hold back. If we’re mad or excited, be sure you’ll get the full scope of it. This sort of vulnerability is endearing to others who value connecting on a heartfelt level.
Our bullsh*t meters are strong, so honesty is everything. Empathy is the ability to tune into another person’s feelings and experience. We have out-of-this-world capabilities for empathy. This means we can also tell when you’re being dishonest from a mile away, and we won’t put up with it. We’ll be honest with you, and we expect the same in return.
Gut instincts and intuition are everything. It doesn’t matter if a partner looks great on paper. They could be gorgeous, intelligent, ambitious, and kind, but if we have an unsettled feeling in our guts, we’re unwilling to stick around. Our guts have proven us right in too many instances for us to ignore them. We sense emotional unavailability and other circumstances that won’t be healthy. If we’re in a balanced place ourselves, we’ll always walk away from people who don’t feel right.
We’re deeply familiar with heartbreak. Our hearts break over and over again on a regular basis. Feeling life deeply is a blessing and a curse. Being highly sensitive means that we feel the heartbreak of a friend, a tragedy across the globe as if it happened to our family, and the bite of the cold that a homeless person is facing. Don’t mistake our familiarity with a tender heart for weakness, though — it just means that if you break our hearts, we’ve experienced it many times before, and will come out stronger.
Consider yourself special because our love is highly sought after. We are beams of light who also happen to often be conventionally physically attractive. We’re deeply socially and intellectually intelligent. Did I mention we’re beams of light? We have undeniable auras. It’s hard to miss us, and for these reasons, we’re attractive to a variety of people. Not to toot our own horns, but we have plenty of options in dating. So if we’ve chosen to be with you, there must be something special about you.
We’re unwilling to settle. We may have many suitors, but we’re very discerning. Since we’re so sensitive, we only welcome those with nice energy, people we can be ourselves around. As highly sensitive people, it’s physically, emotionally, and spiritually painful to settle for anyone less than a great match. We know too much about ourselves and are too tuned in to others around us to compromise.
Communication, communication, and more communication is our M.O. It’s human for brains to go a mile a minute, but empaths have especially busy minds. There’s a lot going on up there, and we need to let it out as regularly as possible. Aside from selfish reasons, we also need regular communication to confirm our instincts and ensure the other person is on the same page as us. You’ll seldom be left in the dark about what’s going on with an empathic partner; they’ll be way ahead in the communication game.
Intense love is a norm. We feel everything more intensely than your average person, so the sort of love that awakens all the cells in your body is the norm for us. It has such intensity that it slows down time, makes you feel like a million bucks, and reminds you what’s important in life. I’m talking about THAT kind of love. I’m not saying it lasts forever, especially in long-term relationships, but you’re almost sure to experience it if we fall in love with you.
Intensity is our comfort zone — especially in the sheets. If empaths sound like magical creatures, it’s because we are in some ways. Being so connected to the world around us means we are incredibly alive between the sheets. We’re likely to be sexually experienced and hyper-concerned about ensuring you’re taken care of. We care about connection and being taken care of too, though, so don’t leave us hanging.
There’s a chance we’ll bolt. Sorry. We might be back? Empaths are highly charged creatures. Being with people fills us with life, but sometimes we take on too much of other people’s baggage and get overwhelmed. Or we misread a situation and freak out. Whatever the circumstance, there’s a decent chance we’ll bolt on you. Sorry about that. It’s probably for the good of all. The good news is that once we’ve cooled off and gained a clear headspace, we’ll likely be back if the circumstances are right.
We’re old souls with lifetimes of experience. It takes a special person to be deeply honed into the nuances of the human experience. Gaze into an empaths eyes, and you can see that we are old souls. Many people who are highly sensitive have experienced trauma in this life or another. We’ve grown from those experiences, though, and they’ve connected us to our fellow beings. We understand deeply what it means to live, and because of this, we have much to share with you.
We may burn out. As highly empathetic people, we aren’t superhuman. If anything, our marvelous abilities to touch into the world around us leaves us wildly at risk for crashing and burning. Those of us who have learned balance have only done so because we’ve experienced burnout. Be careful not to get into a codependent relationship with an empath. It may feel mesmerizing at first, but you’ll lose us one way or another in the end. The best way to prevent burnout is by using balance and boundaries despite the draw of our love.
Every empath is on a different part of their own karmic journey. A sentiment that’s true for one highly sensitive person may be entirely false for another (ex: one individual may be highly sexual while another is totally closed off). Empaths who haven’t worked through much of their emotional baggage often struggle with PTSD, emotional dysregulation, addiction, and instability. This phase is a natural part of the growth process, but it can be very difficult to be in a relationship with one of us before we’ve dealt with our stuff. Find yourself an empath who has worked hard to come to a stable place with our exhausting relationship to the emotional world, and you’ll feel as if you’ve struck gold.
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