Technically, you’re single AF — at least by definition. That’s not the whole story, though. You may not have a boyfriend, but you’re already in a serious committed relationship… with wine. Here are 10 signs that bottle of red (or white!) is the real love of your life:
You come home to it every night. At the end of the day, who do you want to go home to? Wine, of course. Work can be stressful, but home is the place where everything is better. Whether you’ve had an amazing day or one of your very worst, wine is the thing you want to sink your lips into when it’s done. In your mind, wine is what makes your house a home.
It makes you feel less alone. As long as you have wine by your side, you’re never truly alone. You always have that sense of comfort and companionship. You’re not crying about the fact that you don’t have a man in your life — you’re celebrating the fact that you get a bottle of wine (and everything else in your life) all to yourself.
You couldn’t imagine yourself without it. Life without wine? No thanks. You don’t know how you’d get through the days without it. Wine just makes your life so much better. You’ve lost other relationships, but this one is just different. Sure, maybe you’d be able to live without it if you really had to, but life would simply never be the same.
You spend all of life’s precious moments together. In fact, there’s no one else you’d rather be with to celebrate your achievements or mourn your losses. The perfect glass can mark every milestone in your life, and you raise that glass to drink down every failure and toast every success.
It’s always there when you need it. Your wine never lets you down. If a day doesn’t go your way, all you have to do is pour another glass. Men will flake out on you when you need them. Many of them don’t know how to be truly dependable. Your wine does, and there’s no training necessary.
You take care of each other. You could never have even glasses for your wines. From stemless to crystal, you have it all. You even have the little wine beads to decorate every glass. You don’t just care for your wine, though — it also cares for you. No matter if you’re burned out and exhausted, depressed and unappreciated, or celebrating a new stage of your life, wine is always there to take care of your every emotional need.
You’re always together. It doesn’t matter if you’re spending the night in or out on the town, a glass of wine will always be by your side. The best part is you never get sick of each other. You’re never bored and your eye doesn’t stray toward someone else. If you could you’d spend all your time together, now that would be a dream come true.
You have your own version of Netflix and chill. In this scenario, there are no sexual interruptions. It’s just you and your glass bingeing every episode of all your favorite series. There’s nothing casual about your relationship. You have a joint account and you’re committed to watching all your favorite series as a couple — just you and wine for the win.
You spend romantic evenings together. Who do you cuddle up in front of the fire with? Why, your beautiful glass of wine of course. Your wine adds the perfect ambiance to any occasion. You don’t need a man to swoon you with romance because wine always knows just what you need.
You have a real future together. You don’t see a day where the two of you part ways. No matter where you’re headed, you’re going there together. You’re in a committed relationship with wine and that’s one relationship that will never end. You may never sail off into the sunset with a man, but there’s no doubt in your mind that you and wine will live happily ever after.
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