I know there are plenty of benefits of being in a relationship — the late night snuggles, the emotional support, the closeness to another human being… I get it. Still, there’s something about being tied down that I don’t like — perhaps it’s the phrase itself. If a relationship means tying a great big, figurative anchor to my feet, I say screw it. My independence means more to me than any man could.
- My relationship status doesn’t define me. There’s so much more to my life than whether or not I happen to be dating anyone at the moment. I certainly don’t need a guy in my life to complete me or to make me feel more of a woman — I’ve got that covered all on my own. A guy or my relationship with one will never be my main purpose in life. If I meet someone, great; if I don’t, my life will go on (and still be pretty great, at that).
- I don’t react well to someone trying to control me. The very last thing I need is someone to tell me what to do or how to do it. It’s happened to me way too many times in relationships and it never ends well. I seriously can’t stand when someone tries to control me, no matter how subtly they try to do it. Spoiler: It won’t work and we’ll fight over who’s in control. We’ll fight so hard that we’ll end up breaking up, so what would the point be?
- Riding solo isn’t always a bad thing. I don’t know why some women seem to think that being single is the ultimate ordeal. They must have some serious self-esteem issues because not having to think about someone else is frickin’ awesome. Whenever I’m single, I revel in it; I do things my way and don’t have to listen to anyone else’s BS for once. Sure, I’d love to be in a great relationship one day but until that happens, I’m not depressed or upset about it.
- I’m a control freak. There, I said it. Perhaps this is just me, but I hate the idea of letting someone else lead the way. In the translated and slightly ad-libbed words of Ritchie Valens, I’m not a sailor, I’m the damn captain. I get that different types of relationships work for different people and that some women are happy letting their partners call the shots, but I’m not one of them.
- I really like who I am, single or with someone else. The point is that I’m not looking for a relationship to validate my existence or my life choices. Without sounding unbearably arrogant, I like me. I’m everything that I want to be because I’ve designed it that way. Having a man in my bed and head won’t change that one single iota, so why does it even matter?
- Having a boyfriend might weigh me down. As I’ve already said, being with someone can be incredible, but it can also be a burden. I’m just 26 years old and soon I’ll be 27. My life is marching on and the last thing I want is to carry pent-up resentment toward some guy who I felt was holding me back from reaching my goals. No, I don’t want a relationship — not if it means that I have to give up on being me.
- I might not want to stick around in the same place forever. Secret time: I’ve always dreamed of living a year or two somewhere a little sunnier and less dreary. Spain, in particular, has a certain charm I find attractive; the rich food, golden beaches, the laid-back lifestyle. Being in a relationship with someone who is needy AF might mean I have to kiss that dream goodbye.
- I don’t need a guy to look after me. I’m quite capable of looking after myself, thank you. I’ve gotten this far without ending up deep in debt or a ditch. I think I’m doing just fine. I don’t buy into the idea that your S.O. saves you from the unthinkable fate of — dun dun dun! — singledom. Gross. Even writing that made me feel weird.
- I like to make the rules as I go. I’m no expert when it comes to life; far from it. I’m the epitome of a person who’s winging it actually. I don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing. If I had to factor someone else in, though, it just might be. There’s a certain freedom that comes with making decisions at your own whim and I’m not quite ready to trade that in for the oh-so-elusive offer of security. Not just yet, anyway.
