I grew up hearing the sexist refrain of, “Good girls don’t go all the way,” not to mention, “Only promiscuous women have sex on the first date” and similar nonsense. That idea is BS and always has been, It’s always been, but in today’s world of sanctimonious slut-shaming, it’s so important to abolish the concept that a woman is “easy” just because she owns her sexuality and pursues pleasure at her discretion. Not today, Satan. You are NOT easy just because you had sex after your first date.
- Sexuality isn’t “easy” or “hard.” WTF does that even mean? That it’s just easy to bed you? How about a woman knows if she wants to have sex with someone and she’s fully capable of making that choice on her own? You see, though, that this is an outdated idea reaching to the way back days when guys had to talk women into “being bad” and going a little further than heavy petting.
- You can’t always deny the chemistry. Face it. Occasionally, you meet someone who sparks you in just the right way. Maybe you know it from the moment you agree to go on a date. Maybe you figure it out gradually over the course of the evening. The point is that if the two of you are honestly digging each other and you end up having an adult sleepover, you’re not easy. You’re just giving into animal magnetism. Happens to the best of us – hopefully, anyway.
- No woman wants to waste her time having bad sex. Say you’re on a first date with a guy and you’re super into him. You get along well, he makes you laugh, and it feels like there’s some potential. What’s the harm in taking him for a test drive to make sure your sexual chemistry matches up, too? Waiting is an absolutely valid choice, as well, but it does kind of suck to belatedly discover that you have no sexual chemistry with the person you’re dating.
- You’re a human. Humans enjoy sex. They enjoy it quite a lot, in fact. Sex is no longer just for procreation, and pretending otherwise just encourages the archaic idea that women with healthy sexual appetites are easy or promiscuous. You’re a person. You like sex. The end.
- Not to mention, you have needs. We all do. There’s nothing wrong with fulfilling those needs. It’s not a shameful thing. Presumably, you go out on dates with people you enjoy spending time with, find attractive, and feel a connection to in some way. So, what’s wrong with getting together on a physical level? Not one single thing, that’s what.
- There are no rules regulating the right time to have sex. Who says you have to wait until your third date, or your fifth, or your eighth? Who makes those decisions? Did we all vote on them? I don’t recall casting a vote for that. See, it all comes down to personal choice. Isn’t that a novel idea, personal choice? It’s kind of like bodily autonomy. Go figure.
- It’s a fantastic way to ease tension. Don’t hate, it’s true. The whole subject of sex is still so awkward and weird when you’re dating. You have to tiptoe around it, and it doesn’t help if one or both of you keeps thinking that, yeah, you’re easy if you go at it too soon. Getting it out of the way on the first date eliminates all of that. The tension bleeds away, there’s less awkwardness, and it might make you feel more comfortable around each other.
- It won’t make or break your potential relationship. There are exceptions, of course, but anyone who stops talking to you after you sleep with each other on the first date probably didn’t have the best intentions anyway. Don’t automatically think that he’ll never call you again just because you slept with him, but if it happens, realize that it has more to do with him. It’s not you.
- You have your own reasons for sleeping with someone. They’re your reasons. Are you comfortable with your choices? That’s all that matters. You don’t owe anyone else an explanation, nor should you worry about what anyone thinks.
- Other people’s rules are not your rules. So, did you take a vote on the number of dates needed before sex is acceptable? No? Then you don’t need to worry about what anyone else thinks of you. Their noses do not belong between your legs or your sheets. Don’t base your life on someone else’s definition of what’s right or wrong.
