I used to get lost in sadness when yet another guy exited my life. I’d torture myself with the idea that I wasn’t good enough and I’d constantly question what was so wrong with me that lead so many guys to come and go so quickly. I’d get overly hopeful about a guy, daydream about a future with him, and when crap hit the fan and things came to an end, it nearly ruined me every time… until I woke up and faced reality. Why would I want someone who doesn’t want to be in my life in the first place? I’m better off without them.
- I want a love that’s mutual. When I finally find the right guy, I’ll know it simply because I won’t be questioning the future or wondering if he’s into me because he’ll be showing me without any hesitation or doubts. When I look back at the guys who ended up disappointing me, it was pretty damn clear that they weren’t all in, and yet I tried to keep their interest by working overtime way too many times. I’ve wasted too much energy proving my worth when the real deal kind of love should showcase my worth. I won’t need to prove anything.
- Chasing what’s not meant for me only holds me back from my fate. Finding an excuse to text a guy, make conversation, or see him when he wasn’t making any actual effort in return has been a downfall of mine in the past, but I’ve matured and I’ve learned from those mistakes now. Chasing a guy or finding ways to make him notice me isn’t just an act of desperation, it also holds me back from experiencing a guy who actually wants me in his life.
- I want to feel completely desired by the guy I end up with. I can’t remember the last time I felt truly and completely desired by a guy. Waking up to those messages of being thought about and missed and the excitement that comes from a guy who’s completely smitten with me is my end game, so why would I waste my time pining away over some guy who only has lukewarm feelings for me? It’s a no-brainer, in my opinion. I choose to keep moving forward and onto better things.
- I can’t force people to like me. When it comes down to it, I don’t want to convince someone to love me — they either do or they don’t. It’s actually that simple and there’s no further complexity around it. Women seem to always make excuses for guys and their failure to show genuine interest or effort when it’s actually plainly obvious. A guy either likes me and is all in on dating me or he’s not. I’m done with reading between the nonexistent lines.
- My self-love is more important than the love of a guy. Maybe it’s selfish, but at the end of the day, the person I need to care about is myself and chasing a guy who isn’t into me is a demonstration of my lack of self-love. I’m not going to obliterate the work I’ve done on myself to become a well-rounded woman by succumbing to acts of desperation just to get a guy to fall for me. I’ve fallen for myself and that’s all that matters.
- Life is too short to be hung up on the wrong things. I guess you can say I got pretty sick and tired of being that girl. The girl who cried over a guy all the time. The girl that obsessed about a guy’s interest in me. The girl that placed value on myself based on how a guy treated me. I’m done being that girl. The time I have here is short, and even if I end up alone and without love, I’d be happier looking back knowing that every single person in my life was there for me because they wanted to be.
- Real love shouldn’t be painful at the start. The beginning of any relationship or dating experience is really, REALLY important. A rocky beginning doesn’t interest me and those stories about how someone treated the other person like crap in the beginning but it turned into love later are rare. I don’t want a complicated beginning with someone and I don’t want to feel anxiety and doubt because a guy who’s truly right for me shouldn’t make me feel anything less than amazing.
- No guy is worth torturing myself. It’s never been my experience that deflating myself and getting caught up in misery over a guy turned out to be worth it. Those guys never came around. They never had sudden revelations. If anything, I just pushed them further away all on my own. It’s not worth the added chaos.
- I have the patience to wait for something real. I’m finally in a place where I’m content with myself and I’m completely devoted to holding out and saving my energy for someone who’s worth it and wants to be in my life completely. There’s no room for half-assed efforts or lukewarm feelings. It’s all or nothing and I’m fine with waiting to have everything I desire from love.
- I value myself. Hindsight really is 20/20, and even if once upon a time I was the girl who got carried away with my emotions and tried to force people to stay in my life when they weren’t meant to be there, I’ve certainly grown out of her now. It may have taken me some time to truly absorb the lessons, but the important thing is that I got here to this very important conclusion. I value myself and I know I’ll be worth it to one guy eventually. In the meantime, I don’t need anyone in my life who doesn’t want to be there.
