The Older I Get, The Better I Get At Dating

In my 20s, I had fun meeting different types of people, dating guys who I never should’ve given a chance to and kissing more than a few frogs. But when I hit 30, my dating life changed drastically and my mindset and approach when it came to dating took an unexpected turn. Here’s how my dating game changed over the past decade:

1. I Switched Up My Hangouts. My 20s were all about going to the newest bar and nightclub in town and scoping out the eligible bachelors, but when I reached 30, I knew it was time to switch up my hangouts. Finding a compatible partner meant I had to venture out to places where I would likely meet someone who had the same interests as me. So I hung up my stilettos and spent more time on the tennis court, attended networking functions to meet people in my industry, and joined a travel group to come in contact with guys who loved to explore the world just as much as I do.
2. If He Doesn’t Have Potential, I Move On. I wasted so much time dating the wrong men that I no longer have the patience to allow anyone into my life who doesn’t have potential. My 20s were all about having fun, so I really didn’t care if the guy I was seeing had a stable job or if he had no intentions of committing. I wasn’t thinking about things for the long-term anyway. But now, I’m not looking to make the same mistakes when it comes to dating. If he and I don’t see eye to eye in terms of our life goals and what we want in a relationship, I’m moving on.
3. I Embrace My Flaws and Baggage. I now understand that everyone has a past and we’re all carrying around a bit of baggage. I’m done with pretending my life is picture perfect, and any guy who wants to be with me will accept and love me and all of my flaws.
4. I Listen to My Intuition. My intuition is probably fed up at this point because I completely ignored it throughout my 20s. I’ve finally realized that little voice that was telling me something was wrong, and that horrible feeling I would get in the pit of my stomach was trying to save me from myself. I no longer brush it off. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s probably because it isn’t!
5. I Create Boundaries and I Stick to Them. I’m not going to just let someone come into my life and step all over me. I’ve created healthy boundaries, and anyone who I date is well aware of what I’ll put up with and what I won’t stand for. These boundaries have put me in the driver’s seat of my own life, and I finally feel like I’m in control.
6. I Put Myself First. During my 20s, I always put my boyfriends first, and as I’m sure you can guess, it was a recipe for disaster. These days, it’s all about me — but not in a selfish way, of course. I’ve learned that putting myself first and making sure my happiness is intact has made my dating life much more enjoyable. My needs are always met because I make my happiness a priority.
7. I Don’t Care If He Isn’t Insanely Hot. The outside doesn’t even matter anymore. I’ve dated many good looking guys who were horrible people on the inside. I now care more about a guy’s personality, his character, and his morals. Those are the things that really matter to me in the long run.
8. I Don’t Give AF About Rejection. If I see a guy I’m interested in, I’ll go up and introduce myself without any hesitation. I really don’t care about getting rejected because it’s just a part a life. I’m willing to take chances when it comes to my love life, and just because a guy isn’t interested in me it doesn’t mean I’m a horrible person. It just means I’m not the right person for him.
9. I Left the Past Behind. My 20s were spent harping on my past, reliving past mistakes, social media stalking my exes, and letting my past experiences ruin the present. But now, I’m done with letting my past dictate my future. I’ve let it all go and given myself a fresh new start, and it feels awesome.
10. I’m Not Seeking Perfection. I’ve finally realized life isn’t a fairytale, and as much as I’d love to find my knight in shining armor, I know it’s not realistic. I’m not going to settle, but I’m not going to dump a guy just because he’s less than six-feet-tall and he snores while he sleeps.
11. I’m Unapologetically Me. I admit it — I put on a front in my 20s. I would try to mold myself into what I thought my boyfriends wanted me to be. But now that I’m in my 30s, I can finally say I’m unapologetically me. I don’t have to pretend to be something I’m not because I realize I’m fabulous just the way I am.