When I was young, I didn’t know any better. I put up with all kinds of crap from men who weren’t worth a second glance. Now I realize that I deserve more. Life is too short and my time is too valuable, so this is why I don’t tolerate that BS anymore:
- I’m way more confident now. It was easy to fall prey to the nonsense when I didn’t think I deserved better. Now I know that I do, and I know that I can find it. Even when the pickings are slim and I despair of ever meeting a decent man, I’m secure enough to stay alone rather than settling. I believe in my ability to meet a great guy eventually.
- I know myself and what I want. It took a while to figure out but now I know what’s important to me. I know what I need in a partner and also what won’t work for me. It’s been a long and difficult journey to these discoveries, but it was necessary. Otherwise, I would just continue making the same mistakes over and over again and picking terrible, toxic dudes.
- I know there are plenty of options out there. Even when it seems like I never meet any good men, that doesn’t mean they’re extinct. It just means I’m not getting out enough or spending time where I’ll find them. I simply have to diversify my surroundings. Because I know this, I won’t put up with lame crap from the men I do meet. If they aren’t good enough, I’m out — end of story.
- I’m stronger and more independent than I used to be. The struggle is real, but I’m tougher than the struggle. I can handle being alone if it means that I’m happy and free of any man’s crap. I no longer feel the pressure to be in a relationship, so I’m able to pick and choose as I like. I don’t deal with lame guys because I know I’m better than that. It’s not worth it.
- I no longer make excuses for men. I’ve wasted so much time and energy pretending to be happy and lying about the way that guys made me feel. It was a silly, youthful mistake and I quit doing that as I matured. There’s no point in being with someone if I have to justify his behavior all the time. All that means is that he’s not a good partner and I need to let him go.
- I call guys out and they can’t handle it. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve stopped being polite for fear of being disliked. That got me nowhere and allowed men to take advantage of me. Now when a guy treats me like crap, I make it clear that it’s unacceptable. They can’t handle the criticism because they aren’t decent dudes anyway and try to put their baggage on me. Good thing I’m aware that it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with them knowing deep down that they suck.
- I don’t care what men think of me anymore. When I was younger I worried so much about what guys thought about me. I was constantly self-conscious, afraid of not being pretty enough or sweet enough or desirable enough or “right” enough. If I was overlooked, I thought there was something wrong with me. Now I speak up and take care of myself because I understand that loving myself is what matters. If a guy is awful and doesn’t appreciate me, his loss.
- I’ve learned how to spot red flags. It’s very important to know when a guy’s issues are too much and you should avoid him. I’ve learned this through trial and error as I’ve gotten older. I used to overlook warning signs because I was infatuated, but now I understand that it’s important to look at a relationship logically and objectively. I want to get out if necessary before I get in too deep.
- I understand now when I’m being conned. Those jerks can’t pull anything over on me. I know when they just want to get laid or when they are trying to take advantage of me. I wish it hadn’t taken getting burned to learn how to spot a crappy dude, but that’s the way it happened. Now I’m older, smarter, and tougher. I walk away as soon as my gut tells me something is off.
- I have very different priorities than I did when I was younger. As a young woman, I thought that I’d scored if I got a cute and fun dude to date me. I was insecure so it meant a lot to me to have a hot man as my boyfriend, regardless of whether our relationship was good. I grew up and realized it’s not about that at all. Yeah, I still want to be attracted to someone, but what’s inside matters a lot more than outside. A hot douchebag isn’t hot at all – because he’s a douchebag!
